TITLE: Blood Ties IV: Shredded Hearts(1/2) AUTHOR: Dawn EMAIL: sunrise@avenew.com ARCHIVE: MTA, Xemplary, Gossamer – others are fine, just let me know SPOILERS: Major for Paper Hearts and Beyond the Sea, minor through season 6 RATING: R -- for disturbing images and violence CLASSIFICATION: XA, AU KEYWORDS: MSR SUMMARY: A serial killer mimicking the Paper Hearts murders pushes Mulder to the edge of a breakdown. When Skinner removes him from the case, Grey and Scully talk him into a trip to North Carolina to get his mind off the investigation. The killer, however, has other ideas… DISCLAIMER: I know Scully, Mulder, and Skinner aren’t mine. They belong to Chris Carter and 1013 Productions. However, if he is not going to play with them for SIX MONTHS, I’m forced to take matters into my own hands! Grey McKenzie is my own creation. AUTHOR’S NOTES: This is part four in my Blood Ties universe. You don’t need to have read the others to enjoy this, but you will be missing some background information (like who the heck is Grey McKenzie?). You can find parts one through three at Xemplary and MTA. And as always, undying gratitude to my beta readers, Laurie and Donna. You guys truly contribute to each story in so many ways. FEEDBACK: Remember that slogan, “A day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine? You get the idea. Blood Ties IV: Shredded Hearts (1 of 2) By Dawn Office of A.D. Skinner Monday 3:43 p.m. "Sir, you can't *do* this!" Walter Skinner fixed his gaze on the file lying on the blotter in front of him, teeth clenched and the small muscle along his jawline twitching. The undisguised anger in his agent's voice crossed the line from protest to insubordination, something Skinner's military background found intolerable. "Agent Mulder, you are overstepping your bounds," he growled. "I not only can, I have. You are off this case until further notice." "This is bullshit!" Mulder shot back defiantly. Skinner slowly looked up from the autopsy report, feeling his fury grow like a living thing. He barely heard Scully's hiss of reprimand, so intent was he on pinning Mulder with eyes that glittered dangerously. "What?" "I said it's bullshit! This is *my* case, it has been from the beginning. They aren't going to get anywhere without me and you know it!" As Mulder continued his tirade Skinner saw a flicker of movement and followed it to its source. Scully was surreptitiously squeezing Mulder's hand, and for the first time he turned his attention to her. She was unaware of his regard, completely focused on her partner. Skinner took in the small lines of worry, the teeth gnawing her bottom lip, before returning his gaze to the ranting Mulder. This time he looked deeper, attempting to see with Scully's eyes. The revelation quenched his anger like a bucket of icy water and reminded him why he'd made the decision which now had the man so outraged. Mulder's skin was chalky, deepening to dark, bruised shadows beneath his bloodshot hazel eyes. The expensive charcoal suit that he'd often seen the secretarial pool admiring was rumpled and hung off a frame gaunt with sudden weight loss. And the voice, though driven by rage on the surface, held a desperate note akin to unshed tears. Skinner abruptly understood Scully's deep worry and the reason she'd covertly approached him for help. Mulder was much more than exhausted, he was dancing on the razor's edge of a complete breakdown. "Mulder." His quiet, firm utterance of the name stemmed the flow of bitter words in a way that a rebuke never would. Skinner stood and moved around to lean against the front of his desk, folding his arms across his chest. Mulder glared at him, eyes narrowed and lips pressed tightly together. Skinner sighed and chose his next words carefully, feeling as if he were navigating a minefield. "Mulder, you need to step back. You've lost sight of what's important here, of what your priorities should be." "My *priority* is to find the butcher who is murdering little girls! Anything else is secondary!" Mulder snarled. Skinner regarded him calmly, compassionately. "That's exactly what I mean." When Mulder started to speak he held up a hand. "You're losing yourself to this maniac, Mulder. When was the last time you ate? Or slept for more than an hour or two? You were here all weekend, weren't you?" Mulder's long fingers clenched the armrests of his chair and he averted his eyes from Skinner's. Skinner shook his head, leaning forward just a bit to push the envelope and invade Mulder's space. "You don't have to answer, Mulder. I can see for myself. You look like shit." The words were spoken gently, without condemnation, but something snapped in Mulder and he thrust his own face forward, refusing to back down. "That's beside the point. For some unknown reason, this sick bastard is trying to impress me. I'm the only one who has a prayer of finding him, and I need to do my job. Nothing else matters." The implication of the statement tore at Skinner's heart, the more so because he knew how completely Mulder believed it. "It does to me," he said with quiet resolve. "*You* matter. This is not the damn ISU, Mulder, and I refuse to be cast in the role of Bill Patterson. You will *not* show your face in this building for one week. You will *not* call. You will *not* take the file home with you. If I find out you've violated any of my directives I will suspend you. At the end of the week I will assess your condition and determine whether you will be allowed to resume your spot on the team. Do I make myself clear?" Mulder's eyes were nearly black and for a moment Skinner was certain the man would take a swing at him. Wouldn't be the first time he thought ruefully, squelching the urge to rub his jaw. "Yes. *Sir*." Contempt dripped from Mulder's reply. "Are we finished?" Feeling suddenly weary, Skinner nodded. Mulder flung himself to his feet and stalked from the office, not even looking back to see if Scully would follow. Skinner removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if Kim had any Advil. Scully's voice, when it came, was softly apologetic. "Don't take it personally, sir. He's not himself right now." Skinner moved over to sink into the chair that Mulder had vacated. "Scully, you have a gift for understatement," he said wryly. When she tried to return his smile and failed, he sobered. "How long has he been like this? When you asked me to remove him from the case, I must admit I was afraid you were overreacting. But seeing him now..." He let the words trail off, feeling slightly ashamed. In truth, he'd feared that the change in Mulder and Scully's personal relationship had affected her objectivity. "It's been steadily building since he received the first heart. But since the shift in victims..." She swallowed and blinked rapidly. "It's tearing him up inside. He can't let go if it, even to eat or sleep. I'd heard the stories about how he'd get during a profiling case, but living it is different. I'm afraid for him, sir." Skinner sighed, vividly recalling when his agent had burst into his office unannounced eight weeks earlier. Mulder's face had been a blank mask, only the eyes communicating his horror. In his hand he'd clutched a fabric heart identical to those taken by the deceased serial murderer, John Lee Roche. In a deviation from Roche's M.O., however, this killer was mailing the hearts to Mulder with directions to the location of each body. The collection of hearts now numbered six, and Skinner had watched Mulder die a little with each new delivery. The last three little girls had all been dark haired and eerily reminiscent of his sister Samantha. "I knew he was working too hard," Skinner admitted, feeling more than a twinge of guilt at his complacency. "I just didn't realize he had reached this point. He's very good at hiding it, and we needed him so badly that I just didn't let myself look too closely. I'm sorry, Scully." Scully shrugged, but her eyes were still haunted. "You supported me, sir. You've let Mulder perceive you as the villain in this, and I appreciate that. If he knew the idea came from me he would view it as betrayal." Skinner reached out to briefly lay a comforting hand on her arm before they both stood. "Take care of him, Scully. You and I both know he's going to fight this. Keep him out of here, make him get some food and some sleep. I'll stay in touch." Scully cocked an eyebrow and for a moment he saw a flash of her dry humor. "Your confidence in me is inspiring, sir, I just hope it's not misplaced. I'll do my best." Skinner watched her square her shoulders a bit before exiting the office. Watching over Mulder in his present state of mind would be no easy task, but he had no doubts that she was equal to it. Hegal Place Monday 6:30 p.m. The phone rang and Scully hastily scooped up the receiver, wincing a little at the noise. "Hello?" she said, keeping her voice as low as possible. Silence greeted her and she was just beginning to feel irritated when there was a tentative response. "Dana?" The smile felt alien on her face, an indication of just how tense the past weeks had been. "Hi, Grey! How are you?" "Can't complain. How 'bout yourself?" She couldn't disguise the slight hesitation. "Oh, hanging in there. It's good to talk to you, it's been a while." "Yeah, well, I've had an awfully hard time nailing down Fox. Every time I call lately I just get the machine. Hearing your voice kind of startled me. Is he there?" Scully gazed down at the dark head pillowed on her lap. Mulder was still deeply asleep, the lines of worry smoothed and his breathing deep and even. One arm was curled possessively across her knees and the other lay face up on the couch, the fingers slightly curled as if he were trying to grasp something elusive. "He's here, but he's asleep, Grey, and I'd really rather not wake him." She could almost see him checking his watch, feel his puzzlement. "Dana, it's six-thirty. He's asleep?" Scully's lips curved slightly at his obvious astonishment. "It's been a rough few weeks. Mulder's been working a profiling case that's become rather...personal. He's pushed himself to the point of exhaustion and Skinner just ordered him to take a week off to recoup." "I bet that went over real well," Grey remarked dryly. She found herself actually grinning and it felt wonderful. "He was less than gracious about it," she confirmed. "I finally managed to get him to lay down for a bit and he crashed hard." In truth, she'd tricked him into watching a movie, knowing he'd never last. Fifteen minutes past the opening scene his eyes had begun to droop. She'd pulled him down onto her lap, stroking her fingers soothingly through his hair in a manner she knew from past experience would relax him completely. Five minutes later he was limp against her and she'd switched off the movie she'd never really wanted to watch, in favor of a book. "You sound worried, Dana. Just how bad is he?" Grey's voice was probing, concerned. She just didn't have the energy to dodge the question, and she didn't really want to. Suddenly, she was the one in need of some support. "It's bad, Grey. He can't sleep without terrible nightmares, so he just doesn't sleep. And he hasn't been eating. Even when I manage to get him to consume something, half the time he winds up in the bathroom vomiting it back up." Grey was silent for a moment, considering. "You said that Skinner took him off this case for a week?" "That's right. After that he'll decide if Mulder has recovered enough to continue." "Think you could get him down here?" The question caught her completely by surprise. "What?" "Fox. Do you think you could get him down here for a few days? I've wanted him to meet my family for a while now but he's always too busy with work. Maybe getting completely away from everything for a few days would do him some good." A simple idea, but the more she considered it the better she liked it. In fact, it might just be the only way Mulder would survive the next seven days. "You sure you're up for that?" she asked, her mind still working furiously on the details. "What about work?" "I'll take a few days off. I've got plenty of time stored up and things have been amazingly quiet." Grey paused and she could feel him considering his next words. "I'd like to help, Dana. Fox and I have lost so much time that we can never get back. I want to be as much a part of his life now as I can." The naked honesty of his words brought a lump to her throat, but her heart soared. "I think it might be just what he needs, Grey. The hard part will be convincing Mulder of that fact." Grey chuckled quietly. "Yeah. He does tend to be a bit stubborn, doesn't he? Let me think a minute." Scully, amused by Grey's assessment of his brother (definitely the pot calling the kettle black), was content to wait. Mulder moved restlessly, his fingers twitching as he whimpered softly. She could see his eyes moving rapidly beneath the pale lids - a nightmare. When she murmured something softly reassuring and resumed threading her fingers through the thick dark hair he quieted. "You still there?" Grey asked, obviously having overheard. "Still here. Come up with any brilliant ideas?" "Tell him I need his help...building a shed. In the back yard." "That's your clever plan?" "It's the best I can come up with on such short notice," Grey replied sounding hurt, and she could almost see the protruding lip. Evidently pouting was a genetic trait in the Mulder family. "I've been meaning to do it for years." "You know, Mulder isn't exactly a handyman kind of guy," Scully said skeptically. "And do you even have the materials for a shed?" "I will by the time you get here." The laughter bubbled up without warning and she struggled not to disturb Mulder. "Sometimes you are so much like him. I think it's the whole 'fly by the seat of my pants' attitude." "I think I'm offended," Grey replied, fueling her laughter until the tears slipped down her cheeks. She finally got the giggles under control and sighed. "Thanks, Grey. You don't know how much I needed that." "No problem, darlin'. Can I expect you two sometime tomorrow?" "I'll do my best." Grey's voice was warm. "Then I'll see you soon. Don't you realize by now that Fox can't really deny you anything?" She hung up the phone and gazed down affectionately, her hand still rhythmically caressing silky strands. *Might as well give up now, Mulder. Between Grey and me you don't stand a chance. * The thought brought her a sense of peace she'd not felt in weeks. Eagle Rock, NC Tuesday 5:30 p.m. Mulder was in his own world again, one that Scully couldn't enter and didn't really wish to. Though his eyes stared out the passenger window, the focus was inward, his brow contracted with troubled thoughts. She sighed and turned off the ignition but made no move to exit the car. "I miss you," she said quietly. She wasn't sure if her intention had been to startle him, but it did. He turned abruptly from the window to face her, his expression both puzzled and slightly irritated. "What?" "I said, I miss you." The quick, casual dismissal of her words in any other situation would have made her blood boil. "Scully, not only have we been working fifteen hour days, we're practically living together. How can you possibly say you miss me?" "You really don't see it, do you? You haven't been here, Mulder, not since you opened that first heart. You're like this, this...shell of a human being; I don't recognize you half the time." Anger, sharp and unrestrained, replaced his patronizing air. "What the hell do you want from me, Scully? It's the only way I know how to stop this bastard. It's what I *do*." She tamped down on her own irritation with difficulty, recognizing the defense mechanism. "I remember reading a story about a pioneer family when I was little," she said, ignoring his folded arms and pursed lips. "There were really bad blizzards, so bad that you could barely see your own hand in front of your face. If they had to go out in weather like that, say to feed the animals, they'd take a long rope and tie it to the front door of the house and hang onto the other end. That way, if they got lost in the storm they had an anchor, a means to find their way back." She blinked impatiently at the sudden sheen of tears that blurred her vision. "All I want is for you let me be that anchor, Mulder. Let me help you find your way back. Is that too much to ask?" The anger evaporated as quickly as it had come, and for the first time in weeks, his protective mask lowered to reveal the deep hurt beneath. "He's doing this for *me*, Scully. Little girls are dying because of some sick need to impress me. I have to stop him." The response was automatic -- one hand cupped the back of his neck and guided him closer so that she could plant a soft kiss on his forehead before resting her own against it. "I know that, love. You just don't have to do it all alone." Something like a shudder ran through him and his lips caught hers in a bruising kiss. When he finally spoke, his voice trembled slightly. "Bear with me, Scully. I'm still adjusting to that." She pressed her lips to his again before releasing him with a smile. "No problem, G-man. Now let's go before Grey sees us sitting here and comes up with one of those cute remarks he's so fond of." Mulder got out of the car, collecting their bags from the trunk on his way. Scully slipped her arm around his waist as they walked across the front yard to the door. She could feel the prominence of his ribs, the way his jeans hung loosely on his hips. Mulder lifted his hand to ring the bell, but paused. "I'll try my best, Scully. But I don't want to be here." She accepted the statement at face value, not as a reflection on his affection for his brother but an expression of his frustration with Skinner's mandate. "Look at it this way, Mulder. This is the ultimate chance for you to prove to me that you're a manly man in the full bloom of manhood." He snorted, but broke into the first genuine smile she'd seen in weeks as he pushed the button. A moment later the door was flung open by Grey, a potholder in one hand and a grin on his face. Scully saw his smile flicker a little when his eyes rested on his brother before he motioned them both inside. "Y'all made good time, did you have a smooth trip?" "Scully just has a lead foot," Mulder replied, wincing when she jabbed him in the ribs. "You can set your bags down by the stairs, we'll take them up later. Can I get you something to drink? "Iced tea would be great, if you've got it," Mulder answered, doing as Grey suggested. Scully watched his expression turn from startled to bemused as Grey pulled him into a quick hug and then leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Come on back," Grey tossed over his shoulder as he headed down the hallway. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Hope you two haven't eaten." The grimace slipped out before he could stop it. Scully linked her fingers with his and squeezed gently. "Please try, Mulder." The kitchen shone brightly with the late afternoon sun, the air redolent with garlic and oregano. A large pot of something simmered on the stove and a loaf of bread browned in the oven. Grey placed a large glass of iced tea in Mulder's hand, the outside slick with condensation. Mulder took a long draught, staring out the sliding doors at the pile of wood near the back fence. "A shed, huh? How long did it take you to come up with that one?" Scully shot him a glare of supreme irritation as she accepted her own glass, but Grey's lips quirked in amusement. "Not long, really. It was a fly by the seat of my pants kind of thing." Mulder scowled at little, looking offended when Scully openly chuckled and Grey joined in. "So things have been pretty quiet around here?" Scully asked, pulling a chair from the table and sinking into it. After a moment Mulder followed suit, but his fingers drummed nervously. "To put it mildly. I'm even caught up on paperwork, and believe me, that's a first," Grey said dryly, stirring the contents of the pot. "At this point I could use a little excitement in my life." "Careful what you wish for," Mulder murmured, picking at the corner of his placemat. Grey paused in his task, eyeing his brother shrewdly. "Dana said it's a bad one." Mulder's shoulders stiffened and his lips compressed to a thin line but his eyes never rose from the table. "I don't want to talk about it. Sorry I brought it up." Grey, about to respond, caught Scully's slight shake of the head and clamped his mouth shut. He leaned over to pull the golden loaf from the oven, releasing a blast of hot air and the delicious smell of just baked bread. "Let's eat." Dinner was minestrone soup, savory with herbs and fresh vegetables and accompanied by the fresh bread. Scully sipped her wine, feeling the tightness in her chest loosen just a bit when Mulder managed to consume a slice and most of his bowl of soup. >From the corner of her eye she saw Grey inconspicuously observing with a look of satisfaction. With a burst of affection, she understood that he had designed the entire meal, from soup to wine, with his brother in mind. In his current condition, soup was possibly the only food Mulder could have kept down, and the wine would undoubtedly relax him. She sent Grey a look of gratitude and received a wink in return. "Go on into the family room," he urged, collecting Scully's bowl along with his own and depositing them in the sink. "I'm just going to put these in the dishwasher and I'll join you." Mulder stood and silently cleared his own dishes before moving into the next room. Scully looked about to help Grey, but he shook his head and inclined it toward the doorway where Mulder had disappeared. By the time she entered the room, her partner had already flicked on the television and tuned it to CNN. The conflicting emotions of anger, sadness, and frustration combined to form a large lump that lodged in the back of her throat. "Mulderrrr..." Mercurial as always, the hostility was back. "I have to know what's going on, Scully. Skinner won't let me call, what the hell do you expect?" "I expect you to let it go, which is what Skinner intended!" she snapped, her own weariness and anxiety catching up with her at last. "You are *off* the case, Mulder, and unless you play by the rules and give yourself a chance to rest, Skinner will never let you rejoin the team." She regretted the words immediately, not that they weren't true and he didn't deserve them, but because they only fanned the flames. "I can't let it go, don't you understand that? It's with me every second of every minute of every day! It's there when I try to eat, and God knows, it's there when I try to sleep. I can't just put it aside like a book I'll finish later. I have to at least know what's going on, Scully. I have to know if he's done it again!" He didn't even realize he was shouting until Grey appeared in the doorway, a dishtowel clutched in his hand. He couldn't meet his brother's troubled gaze, and Scully's face was a blend of anger and worry, so he dropped his head into his hands. "What are you going to do if he *has* taken another one, Mulder?" she asked quietly, and a part of him was composed enough to be grateful that it was uttered with compassion. "All it will do is tear you up inside. Punishing yourself will not help those girls or catch this monster." Before he could reply the anchorman's voice stole his attention and Scully and Grey slipped painlessly into the background. "...called Paper Hearts, named after a serial murder case solved over ten years ago. In what authorities feel is an attempt to copy deceased killer John Lee Roche, six girls between the ages of seven and ten have been systematically kidnapped and murdered. The case received its name because hearts were cut from the clothing of each of the murdered girls and mailed with instructions for finding the body. Sources say that someone inside the investigation has been the recipient of the hearts, though authorities refuse to confirm the rumor or reveal a name. As of today, there have been no new developments." Like a marionette whose strings have been severed, Mulder sagged visibly in relief at the words. His head pounded and he suddenly noticed that his hands were trembling. Clasping them firmly together beneath his chin, he tilted his head up to see Grey regarding him with a blend of sympathy and horror. "*That's* your case? The Paper Hearts case?" When Mulder nodded he ran one hand through his hair, then froze as a second epiphany struck. "*You're* the one he's sending the hearts to." Scully's small hand pressed gently against Mulder's thigh and he slumped back, letting his head drop against her shoulder. "Yeah. It's me." Grey turned to fling the dishtowel into the kitchen, then strode quickly across the room to snap off the television. "Geez, Fox, when were you going to tell me? That story has been plastered all over the newspapers and television for weeks, did you think I wouldn't want to know? No wonder you walked in here looking like death warmed over!" Perversely, he managed a small, sardonic grin at that. Scully had slipped her arm around his shoulders and drawn him closer, a gesture so simple in its mechanics yet profound to his spirit. "Death warmed over?" Grey's lips curved, though his eyes remained troubled. "Hey, don't knock it. That's my mother's expression. You looked in the mirror lately, little brother?" "You've got to admit, that description is eerily accurate," Scully intoned. "Ha, ha. If you're not going to let me watch the news can we at least put on a movie?" Scully abdicated herself from the choice and simply watched them haggle -- a spectacle far more entertaining than the sci-fi thriller finally agreed upon. Grey made popcorn and Mulder actually lasted three quarters of the way through the show before she felt his head grow heavier on her shoulder. She reached up carefully to run her fingers through his hair, grinning a little when he sighed and snuggled his face into the hollow between her shoulder and her neck. By the time the credits were scrolling across the screen the regular puff of his warm breath on her skin told her he was asleep. Grey rose to turn off the set and then returned to sit in the large stuffed chair that faced the couch. His eyes took in his bother's boneless sprawl and softened. "I wish you'd told me, Dana. Though I guess I understand why you didn't." "It wasn't something I wanted to discuss over the phone, Grey," she replied, keeping her voice barely above a whisper while her hand unconsciously began petting his hair again. "I never intended to keep you in the dark." "Why Fox? Why is this psycho sending him the hearts?" Scully closed her eyes but was unable to block out the images of nearly three years past: Roche's smug enjoyment as he held the final two little girls like poker chips, Mulder's face when Addie Sparks' father asked innocently if there were more unidentified victims, leaving him alone at his desk with the final heart clutched between his fingers, too afraid she'd cross the invisible line if she dared offer further comfort. "Mulder's profile was responsible for putting away John Lee Roche in the original Paper Hearts case. We think that the killer has fixated on Mulder -- sees him as a challenge and is trying to impress him." Grey leaned forward and dry washed his face with his hands. "No wonder Fox can't back off. The guilt must be eating him up inside." He stood slowly and stretched. "What are you going to do with him? You want me to help you get him upstairs?" She smiled and shook her head, tucking her hair behind one ear. "You go on up, Grey. He'll wake up before long and I'll take him up then." "You sure?" When she nodded his brow furrowed. "Dana, I can see he isn't getting much sleep, but what about you?" "I'm fine," she assured him, baffling Grey by smiling at her own words. "Don't worry about me." "Guest bedroom's to your left once you get to the top of the stairs, there's a double bed. That is, unless you need me to set up the cot?" He punctuated the question with a wicked grin. Brothers. Scully rolled her eyes. "The bed will be fine, and do *not* go there." Unaffected by her warning, he gave her an exaggerated wink. "Good night, Dana. Sleep well." "You too, Grey. And thanks." Scully listened to his feet pad up the stairs before silence descended. She let her head drop back onto the cushion, relishing the sense of peace. Though little had changed to ease her worry, Mulder's body was warm against her own, and Grey's proximity reassuring. For now, that was enough. Eagle Rock Wednesday 6:05 a.m. It took Grey's sleep befuddled brain several minutes to process that what had awakened him was the snick of the front door closing. Gazing at the glowing display on his clock, he groaned softly and buried his face in his pillow. This was supposed to be a day off, for Pete's sake -- he didn't even get up this early on a workday. His thoughts had actually begun to disengage and slip sideways into sleep when a clear image of his brother's pale, too-thin face neatly short-circuited the process and nudged him fully awake. Muttering under his breath about insomniacs and tranquilizers, he pulled on an ancient pair of shorts and a worn U of NC tee shirt. He padded along the hallway and down the stairs, noting that the guestroom door was tightly shut. As he'd suspected, Fox was leaning against the kitchen counter in sweat-stained running clothes and sipping a bottle of water. He appeared only marginally less exhausted than the previous evening. "Good morning." "You know, you're on *vacation* here, Fox. You don't have to get up at the crack of dawn," he observed grouchily, plugging in the coffeemaker and filling it with water. He regretted the edge to the words immediately when his brother's face went blank, an expression he'd already identified as "defensive mode." "Couldn't sleep. Sorry if I woke you." The words were granite, smooth and flat. *Damn*. Grey thought, irritated equally with himself and Fox. *Why does everything with you have to be so hard*? "Forget it," he said aloud. "You probably noticed by now that I don't wake up pretty." That got him a delighted grin and broke the tension. "Must be a genetic trait. Scully's no better though. We've learned to tread lightly and set up the coffeemaker the night before." Grey leaned back and folded his arms, favoring Fox with a raised eyebrow. "Things are still pretty new. How's it going?" His brother's eyes, normally cool and slightly wary, went amazingly soft and liquid. "Incredible. I don't know what Scully could be getting out of it, but I intend to treasure every moment while I can." Something about that statement disturbed Grey, and his eyes bore into Fox's. "You make it sound like it's temporary." The bland look was firmly back in place and Fox shrugged, suddenly fascinated with the brown stream that dribbled into the coffeepot. "Don't give me that crap, Fox! Why would it be temporary? You figure you'll get bored?" Like poking a rattlesnake with a stick, but it got results. His brother flushed and practically growled his response. "Are you crazy? What would make you say a stupid thing like that? Have you looked at her lately -- better yet, listened to her? Who could possibly get bored with that much brains and beauty all in one package?" "Then what? What's to stop you from being this way forever, from growing old together?" He gave a bittersweet smile at that, like a little kid with his nose pressed up to the window of a candy store with no money in his pocket. "*I* will." At Grey's mystified stare he continued. "I love her, Grey -- beyond reason -- beyond common sense. But I come with too much baggage, and one day Scully isn't going to be able to deal with it any longer. It's just a matter of time." It left him speechless. Anger, pity, sadness -- even a strange kind of amusement were all wrestling to take the upper hand. There was no self-indulgence in Fox's face, just resignation. Marveling again at how he'd been cast in the role of matchmaker, knowing that Kate must be laughing herself silly somewhere, he considered his next words carefully. "So that's it, huh? Dana's not capable of loving someone unconditionally. Or is it that you're just so astoundingly unlovable that she can't be expected to?" Fox gaped like a fish out of water. "I didn't...it's..." Grey zeroed in for the sucker punch. "It's bullshit. Dana loves you, baggage notwithstanding, and so do I. Your job is to get over yourself and do whatever it takes to make her happy." He wasn't used to vocalizing his feelings -- he was a guy, after all. But the look on Fox's face before he turned away, blinking rapidly, told him he'd better try more often. "By the way, you'd better brace yourself," he said dryly. Looking relieved at the change of subject, Fox's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "For what?" "We've been summoned to Mom's house for a cookout tonight. You're to meet the McKenzie clan. Think of it as a coming-out party." The panic was only half-feigned. "You're joking, right? This is to make up for all those years you didn't have a younger brother around to torment." "Mulder, your paranoia is showing," Scully said, entering the kitchen and crossing to his side, lips curved. "I made it quite clear to Grey that *I* am the only one allowed to torment you." She'd obviously just showered, her hair was still damp and her skin smelled faintly of soap and shampoo. Grey watched it spread slowly across his brother's face -- the smile that no one but Dana Scully could elicit. He glanced politely away when Fox murmured "good morning" and leaned down for a kiss, his own chest tight with the sudden sensation of loss. *Miss you, Kate. Every day*. Swallowing the grief like a bitter pill, he mustered a smile. "Coffee's ready. Any takers?" Eagle Rock Wednesday 2:47 p.m. Mulder used the back of his arm to mop vainly at the sweat dripping from his brow. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this," he groaned, flopping down in the shade of an oak tree. "I'm dying." "Don't be such a wimp. How far did you run this morning, anyway?" Grey asked, dropping his hammer to rest his hands on his hips. "Too far. Can't we take a breather? I need a drink." "All right, all right. You stay there, I'll get us a soda," Grey relented, grinning tolerantly. "Tell Scully I expect her to join us. I'm no chauvinist," his brother growled, stretching out on his back. Scully was contentedly ensconced in a patio chair underneath the sun umbrella, reading a medical journal and sipping iced tea. "Looks like you two are making progress," she noted when Grey approached. "Fox expects you to lend a hand," he replied. "I think it's supposed to be some kind of reverse discrimination thing." "Mulder frequently needs to lower his expectations," Scully returned wryly. "And I think it's more a case of misery loving company. How's he doing?" "Let's just say there's a method to my madness. I can almost guarantee he'll sleep like a baby tonight." She smirked, but there was a weariness lurking around the edges. "We could both use it." When he returned with the sodas Fox's eyes were closed, but they immediately cracked open and he hauled himself upright, hand extended. For the next few moments the only sounds were the hiss pop of the can opening followed by swallowing and a sigh of bliss. "So, if I must make this foray into dangerous territory, you could at least arm me beforehand. Who exactly am I meeting tonight?" "You're nice. Okay, let's see. Mom and Dad, of course. Mom can be counted on to fuss over you, she's been brutal about wanting to meet you ever since she heard you'd found me. Then there's Shannon -- she's just ten months younger than I am. Mom wound up getting pregnant right after... Anyway, she's married to Rob and they have two kids -- Patrick, twelve and Amanda, ten. Rob is an accountant and I think I mentioned that Shannon works for a drug company. With me so far?" "Barely. Your youngest sister is Kira, right?" "Yeah," Grey's face darkened just a little. "She's divorced, and it was a rough one. The guy used to get physical with her but she put up with it until he started to be abusive toward their daughter, Claire. She divorced him three years ago and hasn't seen him since. He just disappeared -- a sure way to avoid child support. Claire is seven, now." He looked up to see Fox was far away. "That's why Mom finally divorced Dad," he murmured. "She put up with the booze and the verbal abuse. But after the second time he took a swing at me she tossed him out." Grey went very still, afraid to break the spell. Fox so rarely talked about his years growing up, and had never so openly admitted his father's abuse. He couldn't help wondering if this new openness was due to Dana worming her way more deeply into his life. "I'm sure that took a lot of courage," he finally said, feeling his way like a man in a dark room. "I know it hasn't been easy for Kira." "She never said it aloud, but I couldn't help feeling that she blamed me somehow. Like if I'd been a better son, Dad wouldn't have... I don't know. Scully always says I have an overdeveloped sense of guilt." He actually smiled a little at that. "Just don't let them all overwhelm you, Fox," Grey warned ruefully. "We tend to be kind of a touchy-feely bunch. Don't let it put you off." Fox rolled his eyes. "No problem. Scully's family tends to be the same way -- at least, Mrs. Scully. Bill's kind of touchy-feely would probably be to wrap his hands around my throat and squeeze." Ah, yes, there was the problem of Dana's older brother. Grey recalled a vague reference to Bill's less than charitable description of his brother. Grey got to his feet and held out a hand, pulling Fox up after him. "Okay, you had your break. I figure we can get another couple hours in before we need to get ready for dinner." "Geez, you're a tyrant! What did you ever do before you had me to order around?" Fox's voice was longsuffering but tempered by a mischievous grin. "Why do you think I went into law enforcement?" Grey deadpanned. "Now pick up that hammer and get to work!" Bailey, NC Wednesday 7:12 p.m. "You're hiding. Are we *that* bad?" Startled, Mulder looked up into the laughing brown eyes of Kira. Grey was off somewhere with his brother-in-law, Rob, and when last seen Scully was deeply engaged in a decidedly technical conversation with Shannon about resistant bacteria. Left to his own devices and a little overwhelmed by the boisterous crowd, Mulder had retreated to the small gazebo near the back of the McKenzie's two-acre yard. "More like your brother wore me out building that shed of his," he replied, gesturing for her to take a seat. Kira rolled her eyes. "*Please*. He was talking about that shed when Kate was still alive. Wonder what finally lit the fire under his ass." Mulder chose to keep his suspicions about *that* to himself, watching as Kira plopped down into the lawn chair and brushed her long, curly brown hair behind her shoulders. "Grey says you hate to be called Fox. This must be your worst nightmare," she noted, her grin exposing a set of matching dimples. "Not even close," Mulder said ruefully. "I can't help it if I haven't embraced my parents' folly the way Grey has, though." "Don't let him snow you. He went through most of high school resenting his name. Most of his friends called him 'Mac.'" "Oh really? That's very interesting. Thanks for the info, Kira. Obviously I should've been talking to you sooner." "Hey, what kind of sister would I be if I wasn't willing to expose all his dirty little secrets?" Kira laughed merrily, and Mulder was abruptly struck by how pretty she was. She sobered a little, but her eyes were still twinkling. "So, FBI, huh? Grey explained a bit about the X-Files. Pretty interesting stuff." Mulder felt himself tense, then fought against it when he identified genuine curiosity on her face. "And your mother still invited me? Most people find my job a little ... disconcerting." Kira grinned. "Yeah? Well, I guess most people haven't seen every horrible B horror and science fiction movie known to mankind." "You?" "Me." Mulder clapped a hand to his chest. " Ah, a woman after my own heart!" He cocked an eyebrow. "Do your students know about this dark side of you?" She blew out a small puff of air and chuckled. "Fox, I teach eighth graders. Anyone over the age of twenty is on the dark side to them!" Mulder aborted his reply when Claire stormed up to the gazebo, her small face screwed up in distress and a bat and softball clutched in her hands. "Mommy! Patrick and Mandy are playing baseball and they won't let me play too!" Kira shot Mulder an apologetic look before taking her daughter's hand and drawing her gently closer. Claire's brown eyes brimmed with tears and her lip trembled. "Honey, maybe they were already in the middle of a game," Kira suggested gently. "I'm sure they'll let you play in a little while." "That's not what they said," Claire said, her voice quavering. "They said I can't play 'cause I'm no good. I can't throw the ball straight and I can't hit either. They said I'm too little." Mulder carefully suppressed a smile, vividly recalling countless battles with Samantha over the same issue. Never one to be easily put off, his sister would simply dog his every move until he gave in or managed to ditch her. Come to think of it, that was where he refined the technique he'd eventually used on Scully. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I know how hard it is to be the youngest, believe me," Kira sympathized. "I'll *always* be the youngest and I'll *always* be the worst," Claire wailed. "It's not fair!" "That's not true, you know," Mulder spoke up solemnly. "Well, the part about always being youngest is. But that doesn't mean you can't be as good as your cousins someday. You just need to practice." Claire scowled. "But how am I going to practice if they won't let me play?" Mulder pretended to frown in deep thought. "Hmm. I see your point. I suppose you'll just have to find someone else to practice with you." Claire considered this, then lit up like a light bulb. "What about you, Uncle Fox? Do you know anything about baseball?" Momentarily caught off guard by the form of address, Mulder quickly pulled himself together. "Me? Well, I suppose I know a thing or two." "Would you play with me? Please?" A person would have to be made of stone to resist that request. Mulder reflected that Kira was going to have her hands full in about another eight years. When he stood up, Claire squealed in delight, tears forgotten. Kira eyes shifted from her daughter's happy face to Mulder's. "Thank you." "No problem." Mulder took the ball that Claire offered and backed off a short distance, waiting for her to shoulder the bat. When she was ready, he lobbed the ball gently toward her. Claire, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration, swung wildly and missed. Kira abandoned her role as observer and jogged over to collect the ball and toss it back to him. "Okay, Claire, just relax a little and don't try so hard," Mulder urged. "Just let the ball come to you." When she nodded, her face eager, he pitched the ball again. Claire was closer this time, but still swung too soon. Determination turned instantly to frustration and tears welled in her eyes again. "See? They're right! I can't do it," she lamented. Mulder caught the ball that Kira threw back to him, but rather than attempt another throw he trotted over to where Claire stood. He crouched down in front of the little girl so they were at eye level. "Don't give up," he admonished her gently. "You can do it, but not if you quit. Let's try something a little different." He looked up at Kira. "Think you can take over for a few pitches?" "If you don't expect anything fancy." As he'd done with Scully not so long ago, Mulder positioned Claire in front of him and bracketed her small hands on the bat with his large ones. "Okay, Claire, we're going to hit that ball together. You're going to step forward and swing, and you're going to remember one thing when you do." "What?" The eagerness was back in the little girl's voice and Kira was watching, her smile a little wistful. "Hips before hands. Like this." He guided Claire through the motion, half of him remembering the way Scully had felt in his arms that night. How she'd giggled -- Dana Scully had actually giggled! He'd come so close to telling her everything, pouring out his heart and soul, consequences be damned. Later, lying on his couch in his apartment and aching with loneliness, he'd told himself that everything had turned out for the best. That a relationship with him would only cause her pain. That she didn't love him the way he loved her. Thank God he'd been wrong. Mulder suddenly realized that he'd let his thoughts drift, and both Claire and Kira were watching him expectantly. "So, what is it?" he asked Claire. "Hips before hands," she piped up, the mirror image of her mother, right down to the dimples. Mulder nodded to Kira and she tossed the ball. The bat made contact with a satisfying crack and Claire whooped with triumph. "I did it! Mommy, I did it!" Kira caught the ball and pitched it again, and again the little girl connected. This time the ball flew past her mother to land several hundred yards away. Claire dropped the bat and fairly danced with joy. "Good job, baby," Kira called over her shoulder as she jogged out to retrieve it. "And you said you couldn't hit. Gonna have to start calling you Claire Sosa," Mulder teased, grinning at the child's enthusiasm. To his shock, Claire threw her arms around his waist in a bear hug. "Thanks, Uncle Fox." "Should I be jealous that you're giving another woman batting lessons, Mulder?" He turned to see Scully standing behind him, lips curved with amusement and arms folded. Claire released him and smiled at her shyly. "Did you see me hit the ball?" "I sure did, and it was a beauty," Scully assured her. "Your grandma sent me to tell you dinner is ready and you should get washed up." "All right! I'm starving!" Claire bubbled and set off for the house at a run. Scully chuckled and Mulder slipped an arm around her shoulders, brushing his mouth across hers in a quick kiss. "You can have another lesson any time, babe," he murmured. "I've got a few moves I didn't show you last time." She pursed her lips and cocked an eyebrow. "I bet you do. But since Kira is headed our way and considering our present location I'd suggest you give 'em to me later, stud." Mulder threw back his head and laughed, delighting her with the unrestrained sound. When he saw Kira hesitate, an odd look on her face, he swung his arm in a beckoning movement and tilted his head toward the house. "Scully says dinner is served." Kira fell in beside them as they turned back to the house. "That explains it. I wondered why Claire was willing to stop playing so soon." Mulder noticed the slight reserve to her speech but chalked it up to the fact that Kira had spoken very little to Scully. They walked the rest of the way in a silence that gave way to the babble of organized confusion when they reached the large deck off the McKenzie's kitchen. They joined the others who were already in the midst of loading their plates with grilled chicken, potato salad, watermelon, corn on the cob and a spread of other dishes. The three children took their plates and climbed up into the small play fort to eat while the adults gathered around a large picnic table. Mulder found himself with Scully on one side and Kira on the other, his brother seated just across the table. He listened to the others chat easily about children, home improvements and vacations, feeling slightly surreal. Remembering Scully's talk of a "normal" life, he glanced down to find her looking back at him, a Mona Lisa smile on her face. Grinning, he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Dorothy." She'd just moved her hand to give his a small squeeze when the conversation jumped to include them. "So, Fox, is there anything you'd like to know about Grey?" Shannon asked, grinning evilly. "You know, stuff he wouldn't voluntarily admit to?" Though equally as pretty, Shannon was the opposite of Kira in looks -- straight blonde hair and green eyes. "Shannon," Grey growled in warning. "Hmm. Well, Kira already let me in on the fact that he hasn't always been so enamored of his name," Mulder said thoughtfully, fixing his brother with a baleful glare. "Which is interesting, considering he lectured me on the same subject." "That's nothing! We can tell way more interesting stories, can't we Kira? Like the time he took Jenny Pritchard parking and forgot his headlights on and..." "SHANNON!" Grey leaned over her threateningly as she attempted to fend him off, laughing wildly. "Later," Kira promised, shrinking back when her brother turned from Shannon to her. Mrs. McKenzie rolled her eyes and shook her head. "It's a good thing the kids aren't here. Honestly, you three will never grow up." "In an attempt to save my wife, I'll change the subject," Rob said wryly. "You and Dana must get to some pretty exotic locations. What's the farthest you two have ever gone on a case?" Mulder glanced at Scully, saw she was going to let him do the talking, and answered. "Well, the truth is that most of our cases are domestic, though we do a large amount traveling. But we did wind up in Antarctica last year." Of course, it got a reaction. Grey's parents looked stunned and Rob gave a low whistle. "Wow. You just exceeded my expectations." "What kind of a case took you all the way down there?" Shannon asked, cupping her chin in her hand and leaning forward in fascination. A little sorry he'd mentioned what had been a very dark time, Mulder shifted uneasily in his seat. "Um. I guess you could say it was a retrieval mission." "Am I just obtuse, or are you being deliberately cryptic?" Kira asked dryly. He couldn't help grinning at that, relaxing a little. Scully evidently took pity on him because she finally spoke up. "What he's not saying is that he was retrieving *me*. I'd been kidnapped and taken there. Mulder came after me." Grey's father frowned. "Kidnapping I can understand. But why Antarctica?" "I think there's a lot about the job that Fox and Dana can't go into," Grey inserted, coming to the rescue. "Details that are confidential." "Then I suggest we stop pressing them about it," his mother said, smiling warmly at them both. "I've waited this long to finally get Fox here for a visit, I won't have the rest of you chasing him away with your questions. Anyone want more? Fox? You look like you could stand to put on a few pounds." "Oh God, look out now," Kira murmured in his ear. "When Mom starts worrying about your health you know she's officially adopted you." Mulder couldn't help joining in her soft laughter. When he looked back he found Scully watching him, an unidentifiable look on her face. "You okay?" he asked, concerned. She nodded, but her gaze was still speculative as it followed Kira when she stood to clear her plate. He scooped up Scully's plate as well as his own and carried them in to the kitchen, returning to help Grey's mom as she began bringing in the leftover plates of food. "Fox, don't be silly, I can handle this," she protested. "Go and relax." "I'm relaxed, Mrs. McKenzie. And it's the least I can do after you gave us such a terrific meal," he replied, carrying in a platter that had once held the chicken breasts. He found himself thrown off balance yet again when she turned to lay her hand on his cheek. "Thank you, and call me Linda, Fox. Your mother taught you well, she must have been very proud of you." He couldn't recover quickly enough -- she must have seen something in his eyes. Removing the plate from his grasp and setting it down on the counter she took his hand in her own. "Fox, Bill and Teena were our closest friends. I loved them dearly and I would have done anything for them. Taking Grey was both the most wonderful and the most terrible thing I've ever done. I'll never forget Teena's eyes when I took him from her arms. And I'll also never forget walking into her hospital room after your birth and seeing you fill those arms again. Whatever else happened, whatever ways they may have let you down, never doubt that she and Bill loved you very, very much." Impulsively, surprising himself this time, Mulder blinked hard and leaned over to place a quick kiss on her cheek. "Thank you." She squeezed his hand before releasing it. "Now go enjoy yourself. I can finish up here." He was on his way back outside when a sound caught his attention and he followed it into the next room. Rob was seated on a couch in the family room, television on and the remote clutched in his hand. He looked up guiltily. "Shannon will be pissed if I watch T.V. so I'm just checking the score." Anything else he may have said fell on deaf ears. He didn't remember sinking down onto the floor, or Rob running out to find Scully. All he could see was a little girl's face. All he could hear was the anchorman's grave voice. "...eight-year-old Samantha Thomas, discovered missing from her home in Rockville at seven-thirty this morning. The pattern fits that of the man dubbed the 'Paper Hearts' killer, and police have instituted a statewide hunt for..." He didn't realized he'd dropped his head onto his knees until he felt Scully's soft hand run through his hair and settle warmly on his shoulder. He looked up and saw the concern and confusion in her warm gaze. "Mulder? What's wrong?" Her eyes followed his own to the screen and he saw comprehension and sorrow flood them. "He's done it again, Scully. Oh, God, he's done it again." Eagle Rock Wednesday 9:30 p.m. Somehow, they'd made their excuses and left. Grey's family had been more than gracious in despite the slight shock of learning that Mulder and Scully were so deeply involved in "that" case. Grey's mother had been particularly solicitous, fussing over Mulder in a way reminiscent of Margaret Scully. Even Kira had gone out of her way to give his arm a gentle squeeze, murmuring that she was sorry and hoped to see him again soon. Scully had reappeared at that point, back from saying her own farewells, and had linked her arm in his. Mulder would have been amused at the possessiveness of the gesture if he hadn't been so preoccupied with the news of the latest kidnapping. He'd allowed Scully to steer him out to Grey's car and badgered his brother until Grey had given in and tuned the radio to an all news station for the trip home. When they stepped into Grey's house, Mulder turned abruptly to pin Scully with an intense and anguished stare. "I want to go home. Now." *Here we go* thought Scully wearily, and the battle was joined. "Mulder, there is no reason to go back. Skinner has removed you from the case, and if he finds out you've disobeyed that directive you *know* he'll suspend you." She tried to keep her voice calm and reasonable, disturbed by the wildness in his eyes. "Scully, he's taken another one. It's only a matter of time..." "That doesn't change anything, Mulder. Skinner's orders were very clear." Outrage, desperation, fury -- all combined to sculpt Mulder's features into an expression that made her flinch. "*Doesn't change anything?* How can you say that? It changes everything! Who do you think is going to open that next heart?" "I don't know. But someone will. Skinner will take care of that. You're on the edge, Mulder. You need to pull back and regroup before you can continue. I agree with Skinner on that." He stared at her with narrowed eyes, then suddenly went slack jawed in astonishment. "It was you all along. *You* put Skinner up to this. *You* told him to pull me off the investigation." Scully wanted to deny it but she'd never been a good liar and the guilt on her face was almost palpable. "I was worried about you. You weren't eating, weren't sleeping -- you were beginning to look like a walking corpse!" "So you went behind my back to Skinner? How could you do that to me, Scully?" The betrayal that she'd feared when she asked Skinner to keep her involvement a secret was all she could see in his eyes. "I love you. I didn't know what else to do. Whatever you may think, I did it for you." "So what -- I'm suppose to be grateful?" Mulder sneered. "Forgive me if I can't find it in my heart to thank you right now, Scully. It's a little hard when you've got a knife in your back." Scully could only stare after him, open-mouthed, as he stomped up the stairs to the guestroom and the door shut loudly behind him. Grey winced, seemed about to reach for her, then dropped his hand back to his side. "He was out of line, Dana. He's not thinking straight." Part of her was angry, part just hurt. "Yeah. That's supposed to make it all right, I guess." Grey frowned. "No, not all right. Just...comprehendable." She laughed, but it was a bitter, jagged sound. "Well, you can't fault me for not knowing him. I told Skinner he'd go ballistic if he found out I was the one behind this little vacation." The sound of a door opening and Mulder came down the stairs dressed in running clothes. "I'm going running," he said unnecessarily, avoiding Scully's eyes. "I'll be back in while." "Hang on a minute, I'll go with you," Grey said. He actually had a foot on the first step before Mulder's empathetic reply stopped him. "NO. I need some time alone, not company." He didn't wait for acknowledgement or acceptance, just disappeared out the front door and shut it firmly. Grey looked taken aback, then his lips curved slightly. "Now, see that? It's not just you he's mad at, it's everyone." Scully managed a genuine smile, shaking her head ruefully. "I feel so much better." "Come on, I'll buy you a drink," Grey chuckled, heading down the hall to the kitchen. "You know him better than I, is he going to be all right?" "Diet Coke, please," Scully said when he'd opened the refrigerator and looked at her inquiringly. "And the answer to your question is yes and no. He'll run until he's worked the anger out of his system - - or at least until he has a better handle on it. Running has always been one part exercise to two parts therapy for Mulder. But he's not really in the kind of shape for that kind of exertion right now, so he'll most likely come back completely wiped out." Grey sipped his own soda, just mulling over her words for several minutes. "Dana," he finally began hesitantly. "I don't want to pry, so feel free to tell me to butt out if necessary. I just can't help feeling like there's something more about this case that you're not telling me. I understand Fox's pain over these murdered little girls, and that the ties to his old case make that pain even more acute. Still..." Scully sighed, but her lips quirked. "You Mulder brothers and your damn intuition. No, it's okay," she hastened to add as Grey began to backpedal. "You're right. There *is* something else about this case that presses Mulder's buttons." Another sigh, and she searched for the right words. "You already know that Mulder's profile put away John Lee Roche, the original Paper Hearts killer. At the time Roche had confessed to thirteen murders, but Mulder was always skeptical, always wondered if there were more little girls we didn't know about. About three years ago, Mulder had a ... a dream that lead him to the location of a body. It was another little girl, and her clothing was missing a piece of fabric in the shape of a heart." Grey's eyebrows climbed up his forehead. "A *dream*? Okaaay. So I take it that Roche had killed that little girl as well?" Scully nodded, grimacing a little at the memories that battered her. "We found Roche's stash of fabric hearts and there were sixteen, including one for Addie Sparks, the little girl Mulder dreamed about. Mulder hoped we could convince Roche to come clean about the last two girls so we went to see him in prison." "That must have been pleasant," Grey noted dryly. "He basically jerked us around, but that wasn't the worst of it. He inferred that one of the two remaining victims was Samantha." Grey closed his eyes. "Shit." "No kidding. Mulder lost all perspective. He became convinced that Roche had killed his sister, and finding out that Roche *had* been in New England in 1973 and *had* sold his dad a vacuum cleaner only supported that belief. See, that's how Roche chose his victims -- selling vacuums door to door." Scully paused and massaged her temples in a vain effort to quell the headache that was building. "Roche wouldn't tell Mulder where Samantha was supposedly buried -- said he had to *show* him." *I can't wait to see your face*... Scully grimaced again, recalling the look on Mulder's face at those words, her own fury. "Mulder signed Roche out of prison without Skinner's permission and Roche ended up getting away from him. He kidnapped another little girl before we could track him down and was holding her hostage. Mulder had to shoot him." Grey ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "So Fox never knew for sure if Roche was telling the truth?" "One victim is still unidentified," Scully said softly. "I think subsequent events have shown Mulder that Roche was lying. But I also think there will always be that one small kernel of doubt." Grey didn't speak at first, just finished his drink. "Thanks, Dana. I appreciate you filling me in. It all makes more sense now." Scully set down her own empty glass and rose to her feet. "I think I'll call Skinner. Maybe he can give me something that will reassure Mulder a little. It's worth a try." She made her way up to the guestroom and dug her cell phone out of her suitcase, still unable to shake the memories of Roche. Mulder had nearly lost his job over that incident. She was determined to see he didn't make a similar blunder now. Skinner was still at the Bureau, his voice gruff with barely checked impatience. "Skinner." "Sir, it's Scully." A short pause, she could almost hear the wheels turning. "How's he taking it?" Part of her wanted to smile at his perceptiveness, part to weep at the need for it. "Not good." "Can you keep a leash on him?" Her lips twisted in the parody of a grin. "I'm not sure. I'm not very high on his list right now. He figured out I was the one who convinced you to pull him from the team." Skinner cursed softly. "I'm sure that went over really well." "What's the status, sir? Do you have anything I can give him to pacify him? Anything at all?" Skinner's sigh spoke of too many cups of coffee and too many sleepless nights. "I wish I did, Scully. But so far we've come up empty-handed, and the next heart will be due in less than twenty- four hours." She could almost see him pinch the bridge of his nose. "Be straight with me, Scully. Is he going to hare out on you like last time?" A spark of irritation flared at his words. Resentment of being cast in the role of Mulder's keeper once again. Most of the time she didn't really mind, but today it had been a thankless job. "I'm doing my best to avoid that, sir." Skinner obviously detected the sharpness in her tone, since his voice turned distinctly apologetic. "I know you are, Scully. You're probably the one person who can." It eased the tension, and she smiled. "I've got a little help this time. Grey will sit on him, if necessary." Skinner actually chuckled at that. "A Mulder against a Mulder. Now why didn’t I think of that? Keep me informed, Scully." "Yes, sir." Scully was just tucking her cell phone away when she heard the front door open and the sound of laughter. Puzzled, she descended the stairs to see Mulder standing in the front hall with Kira at his side, both bearing several plastic containers. Grey had just emerged from the kitchen. "Hey, Sis, what brings you to this neck of the woods?" he asked, smiling. "Y'all left so quickly, Mom didn't have time to give you any of the leftover food. I told her I'd drop it off on my way home," she explained. "I saw Fox and gave him a lift back." She grinned. "He looked like he needed it." Mulder grinned back, all traces of his former anger missing -- a fact which irritated Scully. "She's right. I was hurting." "You know I never turn down free food. Bring it on back, do you want something to drink?" Grey offered. Kira shook her head and handed him her offerings. "Thanks, but Claire is asleep in the car and I have to get her home to bed." She grasped the doorknob but paused. "See you tomorrow, Fox?" Mulder cheerfully nodded. "Guess so, if you're sure." "I'm positive. Good night, everyone." Grey locked the door, turning to his brother with a question on his face. "Tomorrow? What's she roped you into -- talking to her students?" "Bingo," Mulder confirmed, wiping his sweaty brow with the hem of his shirt. "They've been studying different professions and she thinks the kids would be interested." "Yeah. She talked me into it last year. Have fun little brother, the Q&A session can get...interesting." Grey said wryly. "Great. I'm going to hit the shower," Mulder replied, and Grey relieved him of his own containers. Scully was still standing halfway down the stairs, her brain trying to process his mood swing, when Mulder reached her and stopped. Grey immediately made himself scarce in the kitchen. Mulder's expression was contrite. "Scully, I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm sorry." He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and continued past her. She was abruptly furious. The anger came on several different levels -- several different flavors, you might say. First, was the bitter taste from a brief apology that was supposed to magically erase his hurtful words spoken not an hour before. Then there was the sour tang from his easy laughter with Kira -- again, not an hour after he'd basically accused *her* of disloyalty. They formed a very unpleasant combination. She stomped up the remaining stairs to find him stripping his clothes in preparation for a shower. The sight of his ribs, so much more prominent than normal, gave her pause for a moment but she bit back her sympathy. Not even attempting to be diplomatic, she let him have it with both barrels. "Kira has a crush on you, Mulder." He gaped. Scully knew the pattern by now -- Sheila Fontaine, Karin Berquist. For some reason, Mulder seemed unable to accept the simple fact that women were attracted to him. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him, daring him to deny her words. Mulder's answering scowl appeared within seconds. "What the hell are you talking about? She's Grey's *sister.* I'm like another brother, for Pete's sake! Her daughter calls me Uncle Fox." "Be that as it may, she *does* have a crush on you," Scully snapped, out of patience. "You'd better be very careful." He stared at her for a moment before adopting the expression she could only call his "smartass" look. The one that said she knew nothing while he, on the other hand, was an authority on everything. It made her crazy. "You're jealous, Scully. And while I find that flattering, it's not a very nice way to treat Kira. Now, I'm going to take my shower." Scully wanted so badly to slug him her fingers actually curled into a fist. Instead she forced herself to try again. "You're the one that needs to take a look at how you're treating Kira, Mulder. You're going to wind up hurting her if you don't." Anger replaced amusement. "Drop it, Scully. I'm not discussing this with you any more. Whatever problem you may have with me, there's no excuse for taking it out on Kira. You only sound vindictive." Mulder stalked into the bathroom and shut the door, cutting off any chance for reply. Bewildered, hurt, and very angry, Scully was left standing dumfounded in the middle of an empty room. Eagle Rock Thursday 5:48 a.m. Seriously considering the idea of inflicting bodily harm, Grey swung his legs off the side of the bed and scrubbed at his face with both hands. He padded past the closed guestroom door and down the stairs, not really surprised to find his brother sipping water in front of the television this time. Tuned to CNN, of course. "Don't you ever sleep?" he growled, starting the coffee. "And how often do you run, anyway?" "Good morning to you, too," Fox said, never pulling his eyes from the screen. "I'm serious, Fox, you're in no kind of shape right now to be running so much. You've already dropped too much weight. Dana's going to be pissed." Fox muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "so what's new?" Grey dropped into the recliner, noticing for the first time that the afghan was unfolded and the couch appeared to have been slept on. Uh oh. "You *did* patch things up with Dana last night, didn't you?" he demanded, brows drawn together. "Back off, Grey. This is none of your business," his brother warned, still not meeting his eyes. "You were a jerk, Fox. If you can't see that ..." "Just shut up!" Fox snapped, springing to his feet and taking two quick strides forward. For a moment Grey actually flinched, certain that he was about to receive a more physical expression of his brother's anger. Fox only flicked off the television and turned to glare at him, hands on hips. "What goes on between Scully and me is *our* business. Leave it alone." Grey heard the whisper of sock feet on tile and Dana stepped into the kitchen. Her hair was rumpled and a white terry bathrobe shrouded her small form. Dark circles beneath her blue eyes attested to a less than restful night. Grey watched as her gaze wandered to Fox and then skittered quickly away, a combination of anger and hurt darkening her expression. His brother visibly stiffened, jaw clenched. "Morning, Dana," Grey greeted easily. "Coffee should be just about ready." "Thanks, Grey." Grey got up and ambled into the kitchen, sensing his brother just two steps behind. Scully pulled two mugs from the cupboard and filled both with coffee, silently handing one to Mulder. He accepted the offering, the brittleness of his mood softening and his lips curving slightly. Mulder's fingers snagged Scully's after he'd taken the mug, and entwined with them. "You look tired," he said softly. Scully moved closer and leaned into him, looking up into his eyes. "I didn't sleep so well last night. I was cold." Sharp enough to realize she wasn't indicating she'd needed a blanket, Grey opened the refrigerator and busied himself with extracting English muffins and jam. From the corner of his eye he saw Fox reach out to cup Dana's cheek, murmuring words he hoped were some form of apology. The next few minutes were spent in a fairly comfortable silence except for the sounds of the toaster popping and the refrigerator opening and closing. When they had seated themselves at the table Mulder fixed Scully with a penetrating stare. "I checked CNN. Samantha Thomas is still missing." Grey tensed, prepared for a burst of anger that never came. "I'm not surprised. I talked to Skinner last night. He wasn't hopeful," Scully said quietly. "Mulder, I know what you're thinking ..." Mulder's grip on his mug was white knuckled. "You mean like there's no way in hell that it's a coincidence this one's name is Samantha? Or that she's already dead and discarded somewhere, waiting for us ..." His voice caught and he took several ragged breaths before continuing. "For *someone* to come dig her up? Like an object, a ... a prop whose only purpose is to continue this bastard's sick ego-trip while I sit around pounding nails and proving I'm no Bob Villa? Because if that's what you know I'm thinking, then you're absolutely right." "I know you're frustrated, Mulder," Scully replied, an edge creeping into her voice. "But driving yourself to the point of complete physical and emotional collapse won't help those little girls." "And this will? I'm sorry, Scully, but I just can't accept that!" Mulder pushed away the plate that still contained half of a muffin and stood, his chair scraping noisily against the floor. "Mulder, please! At least sit down and finish eating," Scully said, worry masquerading as irritation in the small line between her eyes. "I need to shower. Kira's picking me up at 7:30." The small line became more pronounced. "So you're actually going through with that? Since when have you been so eager to talk to a bunch of middle-schoolers?" Grey watched as his brother, who'd carried his plate to the sink, spun around with his face twisted in a snarl. "What do you want from me, Scully? You're on my back about not pursuing the case but when I try to do something to take my mind off it you give me grief! Make up your damn mind!" When Fox had stomped out of the kitchen, Grey turned, expecting matching fury from the woman beside him. What he did see left him startled and fumbling for a response. For just an instant Dana's face bore a naked, vulnerable expression of hurt until she seemed to feel his gaze and the cool mask slipped into place. "You've been getting a ringside seat lately, Grey," she said wryly. "Sorry about that." Still feeling as if he were nearsighted and operating without glasses, Grey smiled reassuringly. "I'm not exactly shocked, Dana. Kate and I had our own share of brawls, believe me. And don't worry about Fox. Kira will take good care of him, and those kids won't leave him with any time to get into trouble. In fact, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you came along too." Dana's lips quirked but there was no humor in her voice. "I'm sure she'll manage just fine without me. Anyway, I have some paperwork I can catch up on." Her dishes joined the others in the sink though her exit was far less dramatic than Mulder's had been. Grey sat alone at the table with his now-cold cup of coffee, trying to figure out what had just occurred. Dana's expression when he'd mentioned Kira had been decidedly strained. And though things were already tense, Dana's reaction over Fox talking to Kira's students seemed unfair, almost ... Grey shook his head when the word popped into his mind. Jealous? Dana Scully was an extremely confident and secure woman, nearly impossible to picture in the role of possessive girlfriend. If she'd reacted that way to Kira, she must have seen something he'd missed. He was still replaying the events of the last twelve hours through his mind when the front doorbell rang perfunctorily and Kira let herself in with her key. "Hey you! I know I'm early, but Claire was itching to get to daycare and I figured Fox and I could ..." She trailed off, puzzled by her brother's intent expression. "What?" Inspiration struck, and Grey leaned back. "Nothing. You can have a cup of coffee if you'd like. They should be ready soon." Kira's bright smile faded, causing his gut to churn with disappointment and sympathy. "They? But I thought just Fox ..." She stopped abruptly this time, reading the emotions in her brother's eyes. "Kira. What do you think you're doing?" Grey said, his voice a soft rebuke. "What do you mean, what am I doing? I came to pick up Fox! I just wasn't expecting Dana to come along." "She's not. I just said that to see your reaction. It told me all I need to know, Kira." Kira's chin came up and her eyes blazed. "I don't know what you're talking about! I just asked Fox to help me because I thought the kids ..." She lost steam and her shoulders slumped under his steady gaze. Grey stood up and pulled her into his arms. "I know you're lonely, Kira. You think I don't understand that? But this isn't the way, and you know it." His sister clutched his tee shirt in her fists and buried her face in his neck. "I really like him, Grey. He's sweet and it seems like we actually have some things in common. And he was so good with Claire. Do you know how many men turn tail and run when they find out I have a child?" Grey reached up to stroke Kira's curls, struggling around the lump in his throat. "I understand, Mouse. He's a good man, and God knows you deserve that. But believe me when I say that I have never seen two people who belonged together more than Fox and Dana. You'll only hurt them and yourself unless you accept it." Kira stepped back, blinking back her tears. "I told myself there was nothing special between them," she said huskily. "I wanted to believe that." Grey smiled ruefully, remembering his brother's drugged confession. *She's everything to me.* "I gotta hand it to you, Mouse. When you're wrong, you're wrong." Kira mustered a wisp of a smile, thin and unsubstantial. "I'm sorry, Grey. I just didn't want to be alone any more. Is that so wrong?" The lump became a fist, squeezing until his voice was little more than a whisper. "If it is, I'm right there with you." "You think we have a chance, that maybe the right person is out there somewhere?" Grey thought about Kate -- the laughter, the tears, the love. It was inconceivable that he'd already received his allotment of that kind of happiness -- happiness Kira had yet to experience. "God, I hope so, Kira. I'm counting on it." Eagle Rock Thursday 11:52 a.m. Kira pulled into the driveway and put the car into park, still laughing softly. "Well you can't say that Grey didn't try to warn you," she said. Mulder snorted, running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. He said the questions could get 'a little rough.' Major understatement." She grinned. "Come now, Agent Mulder. They weren't *that* bad. I think you handled yourself very well." "Sure until that kid, Mike Pervert." Kira snickered. "Purvis." "Whatever. How am I supposed to answer when a fourteen-year old kid asks if I get to use my handcuffs at home?" Mulder's voice was righteously indignant. "You have a dirty mind. He probably meant it very innocently," Kira said sternly, but couldn't keep up the façade and collapsed into laughter again. "I'd better let you get back before your entire lunch hour is over," Mulder said when they'd regained some semblance of control. He reached for the door but was stopped by Kira's hand on his arm. "Fox, wait a minute. There's something I need to say to you." Puzzled, he released the handle and looked at her expectantly. Kira took a deep breath and slowly let it out, gathering her courage. "Fox, I ... I think maybe I've caused trouble between you and Dana." He frowned and shook his head, holding up one hand to stop her from continuing. "Kira, please don't worry about that. Scully just has this strange notion in her head, but she'll get over it." "She's right, Fox. She had every reason to be jealous." Mulder's jaw dropped and he blinked. "What? What are you saying?" Kira ducked her head, reddening. "I'm saying that my motivations for asking you to talk to the kids today were not exactly pure. I like you, Fox, and I'd hoped ..." She looked up, still blushing but her face composed and determined. "Anyway, I didn't realize the depth of your relationship with Dana -- or didn't want to. I'm really sorry. I hope you understand and forgive me. And I really hope Dana can." Still thunderstruck, Mulder grasped for a response. "Kira, I ... I don't know what to say. I'm flattered. But I also hope that I didn't do anything to make you think ..." Kira impulsively laid her hand on his arm and shook her head. "You didn't. You were fun to talk with and very sweet to Claire. I saw only what I wanted to see." Mulder's shock was suddenly subordinated by the memory of Scully's warning and his own insensitive comeback. He winced, then looked at Kira. "Thank you for telling me, Kira. I know this couldn't have been easy for you to say." Kira's lip trembled slightly, but she shrugged. "I think I owed you both than much. Now I guess I'd better get back to school." She paused. "I hope we can still be friends, Fox." Mulder smiled. "I'd like that, Kira." He stood on the driveway long after she'd driven out of sight, feeling a bit shell-shocked. Finally he wandered around the side of the house to the backyard, figuring that Grey would be working on the shed. His brother was nowhere in sight, but Scully was laying on a chaise lounge, enjoying the late September sun and filling out an expense report. She eyed him blankly and dropped her eyes back down to the papers. "Have fun?" Her voice was cool, face expressionless and her walls firmly locked into place. Mulder's stomach clenched. *I am an idiot, and this calls for some serious groveling*. He walked over to the chair and sat on the edge, ignoring her grunt of irritation. "Move over." "*Move over?* In case it's escaped your keen, analytical mind, Mulder, this chair was built for one -- ahhh!" Scully shrieked in surprise as he slid his body more securely onto the webbing and reclined, rolling her so that she was neatly stretched against his side. Scully, now furious at being manipulated like an oversized doll, struggled to sit up, but he calmly pulled her back down until her head rested on his chest and was tucked beneath his chin. "Mulder, I don't know what you think you're doing, but ..." "Trying to come up with an adequate apology for being such a bastard. It isn't easy for me, even when I know it's true." Scully stopped squirming and went very still. She could hear the rapid thumping of his heart, feel the tension thrumming through his limbs. This was no casual request for forgiveness. "Go on." "Kira asked me to tell you she's sorry for any trouble she caused between us. She admitted to me that she...um ..." Scully took pity on him. "I get it, Mulder. You don't need to draw me a picture." "I don't know what to say, Scully, except that you were right. I just hope you believe me when I say that I never meant to do anything to make Kira feel that way." She couldn't help smiling a little at the bewildered note to his voice. "I know that, Mulder. Just like I know it's remotely plausible for someone to think you're hot." He laughed softly at that, and she could feel the anxiety seep from him. His fingers began to comb gently through her hair and she sighed, feeling the knot in her own chest loosen. "I'm sorry too, Mulder." The hand in her hair froze and he tilted her head up so that her eyes met his own. "You? What do you have to be sorry about, Scully?" She ducked her head back down but tightened the arm thrown across his chest. "I could've handled things better. I may have been right about Kira, but I was also jealous. I'm still trying to adjust to the change in our relationship, and I guess sometimes I feel a little insecure about my place in your life." He tilted her chin up again and she was overwhelmed by the unguarded love on his face. "You're in the same place you've been for the last six years, Scully. At the very center, touching every part of me. That hasn't really changed." He grinned mischievously. "I just get to do this now." He tugged her closer and his lips met her own, softly and tenderly at first, then with increasing passion as her mouth opened and the kiss deepened. With an impish smile of her own, Scully abruptly shoved him backward so that she was essentially on top of him. She braced her arms on his chest and set about exploring every inch of his mouth, her tongue twining with his one moment, her teeth nibbling at his bottom lip the next. Mulder moaned softly and plunged his hands into her hair, attempting unsuccessfully to hold her still long enough to regain the upper hand. "Glad to see you two worked out your differences," Grey drawled, startling them both so that Scully nearly toppled off the lounge. They shared a smile, still breathing heavily, before Scully carefully moved over so that Mulder could stand up. With a smirk, he handed her the crumpled expense report that had become situated under his right thigh. "That's the second time you've done that," he said to his brother, eyes squinted in annoyance. "Did you ever consider just turning around and coming back later?" "Where's the fun in that?" Grey replied innocently. "Anyway, I just got the mail and there's a letter for you. Must be from work, the postmark says D.C." To Grey's surprise the color drained from his brother's face and the hand that reached for the letter trembled. Scully was on her feet and at his side in one quick movement. Mulder's fingers shook so badly it took two attempts before he'd loosened the flap. Before he could reach inside, Scully's hand shot out to stop him. "Mulder, wait!" She reached down to fumble in her briefcase, finally holding up a pair of latex gloves. Understanding flooded Grey's face and he swallowed hard. After donning the gloves, Mulder pulled out a single sheet of white paper and unfolded it very carefully. He gently lifted the heart -- soft cotton fabric decorated with tiny pictures of Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, and Piglet. Mulder's gloved thumb reverently stroked the surface before he moved it aside so that they could all see what had been written on the paper. It was one sentence, composed of letters that had been cut from newspapers and magazines and glued to form words. The message was brief, but chilling. *I'd come back if I were you.* Eagle Rock Thursday 1:11 p.m. Scully watched as Mulder paced the length of the kitchen, turned sharply and repeated the movement in the opposite direction, cell phone pressed tightly to his right ear. Skinner was doing most of the talking at this point, Mulder only injecting soft grunts of acceptance and an occasional sentence or two of clarification. Their boss was apparently handling him very carefully, since Mulder had remained relatively calm and reasonable. Still, she could see that his grip on the phone was white-knuckled, his jerky, uneven gait at odds with his usually graceful stride. She glanced across the table to see Grey watching his brother, his brows drawn in concern. Grey felt her gaze and regarded her questioningly. "Think Skinner's going to let him come back?" Scully pursed her lips, then smiled ruefully. "Since Mulder hasn't resorted to screaming or profanity so far, I assume that the answer to that question is yes." Grey didn't return her smile, his frown only deepening so that he looked even more troubled. "I'm not sure how I feel about that, though I know Fox will be glad. I'm afraid all I can see is that he's going back into the fire, and in no better shape than when you arrived here two days ago. I'm worried about him, Dana." Scully leaned across the table to lay her hand on his arm. "I know. I am too. But it wouldn't be any different if Mulder were to stay here, Grey, he would only continue to tear himself up wondering what was happening back home. This monster knows enough about Mulder to realize that he won’t back down from a challenge." Her eyes darkened, and Grey was startled to recognize fear in them. "What? What are you thinking?" She shrugged, but her face was still grave. "I guess that I'm going to be relieved to have Mulder in a more controlled environment. This killer has fixated on him, and I don't think anyone knows the full implications of that." Before Grey could comment, Mulder thrust the phone in Scully's face. "Skinner wants to talk to you. I'm going to pack up our things." Scully put the phone to her own ear, her eyes tracking Mulder as he exited the kitchen. "Sir?" "Scully, Mulder has filled me in on the ... suggestion he got from the killer. I, in turn, informed him that we received instructions for locating Samantha Thomas's body. I'll need you to do the autopsy as soon as you get back." "Yes, sir. I'd anticipated that." Silence, broken by Skinner nervously clearing his throat. "Sir?" "I haven't told Mulder everything. I could sense the killer's note had upset him badly, and I thought it best to give him a chance to calm down." Scully closed her eyes, a chill running up her spine. She was very sure that she didn't want to hear whatever Skinner had to tell her. "Go ahead, sir." "Scully, the directions to Samantha's body contained a heart, and it matches the clothing she was wearing. I can only assume that Mulder's heart belongs to another victim." Several choice swear words she'd learned during life on military bases flitted through Scully's mind, but she chose to remain silent. Dread writhed and churned in the pit of her stomach -- both for the child sentenced to certain death and for Mulder, who would certainly find a way to shoulder the responsibility. "Scully?" Skinner's voice was anxious, prompting a response. "He's escalating," she said quietly. "From the warning he sent Mulder I'd imagine it's calculated to bring him back onto the case." "I agree." The words were spoken in a manner that told Scully her boss was suffering from his own feelings of guilt. When he continued speaking, however, his tone was tight with anger. "That's the *only* reason I'm allowing Mulder to rejoin the team. I'm beginning to believe Mulder is right; we aren't going to be able to catch this lunatic without him. Just don't tell Mulder I said that," he added dryly. "He's packing right now, so I'm sure we'll be on the road soon. I'm also sure that he'll want to go straight to the office once we hit town," Scully predicted, wishing she'd gotten more sleep the night before. "Report to my office then. I'll be here. Would you like me to break the news?" Scully thought it over, longing to let Skinner be the one to deal such a blow. Unfortunately, she knew Mulder would never forgive her for withholding the information during the drive home. He'd had trouble enough accepting her involvement in removing him from the case, she wasn't certain the trust between them could survive a second hit. "No. I'll take care of it myself. Thank you for giving me some advance-warning, sir. He won't take this well." Skinner made a choked sound of amusement. "He never does, Scully. See you soon." Scully pushed the disconnect button and stared at the dead phone, chewing her lip. She'd actually forgotten Grey's presence until he spoke. "Another child's been taken?" She walked slowly over to replace the phone in its cradle, allowing herself the extra moments to collect her thoughts and emotions. She could feel Grey's steady gaze on her, following each movement and cataloguing it. Finally she leaned back against the counter and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "That heart that Mulder just received did not belong to Samantha Thomas. Skinner and the team already have that one, along with the location of her body." She hated the cold, calculating sound of her voice even as she realized that it was a defense mechanism. "Who?" "That hasn't been determined. I'm sure Skinner is working on it as we speak." "Working on what?" Mulder's reappearance could not have had a more dramatic effect on Scully if he'd jumped out and shouted "Boo!" She jerked and spun toward the kitchen doorway, her right hand reflexively reaching for the small of her back. "Don't shoot me, copper, I surrender," Mulder said, both hands raised and a smirk on his face. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" Scully groaned, sinking back against the cabinets. Mulder raised an eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe. "Sorry. Didn't realize I was sneaking. Working on what?" Leave it to Mulder to stay on target and not forget the original question. From the corner of her eye Scully saw Grey quietly stand and then squeeze by his brother to leave the kitchen. She fought the abrupt sensation of disappointment and betrayal that washed over her. Realizing that there was no way to pad the corners, she met her partner's eyes squarely. "Mulder, Skinner didn't tell you something important." Scully saw his eyes narrow and his brow contract, and quickly raised a hand to forestall any outburst. "Wait a minute! He's not trying to hold out on you, he just didn't want to burden you with this right away. He was giving you time to decompress." "My patience for this overwhelming need you and Skinner have for protecting me is starting to wear thin, Scully. I'm a big boy and I'd appreciate it if you'd just give it to me straight." The words were meant to be spoken in irritation, but Scully knew Mulder well enough to recognize armor donned in anticipation of bad news. She ignored his scowl and proceeded cautiously. "Mulder, a heart was included with the instructions for locating Samantha Thomas's body, and it matches her clothing." She watched his expressive face as he processed the information and quickly came to the heartbreaking conclusion. His pain transcended even Mulder's substantial ability to feign detachment. Scully fought an intense inner battle in a matter of seconds, instinctively wanting to put her arms around him yet knowing how important it was for him to maintain composure. Giving in to intuition, she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest but not speaking. After only a moment's hesitation, Mulder's arms came up and around her shoulders. Tiny tremors coursed through his body so that it felt as if he were shivering, and Scully could hear his heart thumping rapidly. Her own fluttered in a sympathetic response and she ran her hands in abstract patterns over the rigid muscles of his shoulders and back. "Who *is* he, Scully?" Mulder whispered in a voice liquid with unshed tears. "What does he want from me?" "He's a maniac, love. He probably doesn't even know what he wants," Scully murmured, pulling back so that she could search his face. Gratitude met her gaze, but it was coupled with disbelief. "I disagree. I think he knows exactly what he wants, we just haven't figured it out yet. That's what scares me." "Mulder, promise me you'll try to keep your perspective. You can't get sucked in too far or you'll drown." Annoyance again, which Scully actually found an improvement over the hurt. "I know my job, Scully. I only do what's necessary to get results." Scully reached up to cup his cheek, attempting to soften the harshness of her next statement. "You say that, Mulder, and I know you believe it. But you can't see yourself. Before Skinner pulled you off the case you looked like you were going under for the third time." Mulder's eyes were pleading. "He's escalating, Scully. And we both know what triggered it." His voice broke and he took a deep breath before continuing. "The only way I can live with myself right now is to put everything I have into catching this guy." Scully blinked at the moisture in her eyes. "I understand that, love, I really do. But I'm selfish. I refuse to lose you in the process." Grey chose that moment to slide around them and re-enter the kitchen. He was carrying a duffel bag that he plopped down onto the tile before folding his arms. "I'm packed. Who's driving?" Both Mulder and Scully were rendered speechless for several seconds before Mulder gathered his wits to reply. "Huh?" Scully pressed her lips together to smother a grin. "I second that somewhat less than eloquent response. What do you think you're doing?" Grey rolled his eyes in a "well, duh!" look. "What does it look like? I'm going back to D.C. with you. I've got the rest of the week off anyway, and if I stay here I'll just wind up finishing that damn shed all by myself." Scully smiled, communicating appreciation, relief, and affection with her eyes. Mulder, however, pulled away from her embrace, shaking his head adamantly. "No way, Grey, you can't do it. It's too risky." Grey looked at him, his expression bland. "I'm not the one being stalked by a killer, Fox," he said calmly. "You're the one at risk here, not me." "That's not what I mean, and you know it!" his brother growled, frowning. "It's one thing to come up for a visit and hang around my apartment, but this is completely different. You'd be in the middle of a major investigation involving police and FBI, and swarming with the press. There's no way to remain low profile." Grey stubbornly thrust out his lip and Scully had to bite her own to keep from laughing. Sometimes the similarities between the two brothers were amazing. "Fox, I thought I made it clear a long time ago that I don't intend to let these faceless enemies of yours dictate my life. You are my brother, and if I'm going to be a part of your life it's going to be on *my* terms -- not theirs. I'm coming with you." Mulder opened his mouth to argue, but found he didn't have the motivation to do so. Though he feared for Grey's safety, the idea of having his brother's support was extremely comforting. "I get to drive," he said instead, his tone daring Grey to argue. Grey just grinned and stooped to pick up his bag. "Whatever you say, little brother. Just so I'm along for the ride." FBI Headquarters Thursday 11:02 p.m. Scully sighed and leaned heavily against the back of the elevator as it rumbled slowly downward. Gritty eyes, a backache, and the clinging odor of decomposing flesh all combined to make her desire to go home an urgent one. Though she knew getting Mulder to leave would be a battle, she was determined -- even if it meant fighting dirty and bringing Skinner and Grey into the fray. The doors rattled open and Scully walked slowly down the dim hallway, one hand clutching her autopsy results while the other kneaded the flesh at the small of her back. Damn autopsy tables were one size fits all, and it wasn't her size. The door to the X-Files office stood ajar and she paused, taking the opportunity to observe Mulder undetected. His dark head bent low over the contents of the desktop, which he studied with such complete concentration that he was oblivious to her return. His jacket shed and sleeves rolled to the elbows, Mulder's arms were propped on the open surface directly in front of him. Scully saw that he held something between his long, slender fingers, rubbing it gently. She moved closer until heartache replaced her curiosity. Seven photos spread across the blotter, one for each of the murdered girls, and the object he held with the reverence of a talisman was the eighth heart. Mulder caught her movements with his peripheral vision and raised his head. The eyes behind the wire-rimmed glasses could have belonged to a 90-year-old man. Scully brushed several of the photos aside and perched on the edge of the desk. "Autopsy's finished," she said unnecessarily. Mulder nodded, waiting for her to continue. Scully flipped through the papers in her hands, then tossed them onto the desk with a sigh. "It's all the same, Mulder. Sexual assault, then strangulation. Exactly like the other seven." "And identical to Roche," Mulder added, declining to pick up the papers. "Yes." Mulder pulled off his glasses and scrubbed his eyes wearily with the heels of his hands, then lay his head atop his folded arms. "I lived through this twice already, Scully," he said, voice muffled but the anguish still evident. "Why must I do it again?" Scully's answer -- for there was no answer -- was to run her fingers through his hair, the tips rubbing his scalp. Eventually his tension eased a little and she sensed he'd regained full control. "Where's Grey?" she asked, suddenly aware of the man's absence. She glanced over to her own desk and saw the folder from the original Paper Hearts case lying open. "I sent him on a coffee run," Mulder replied, still muted. "Mulder, it's late and you need sleep. The last thing you should ingest right now is more caffeine." Mulder lifted his head and regarded Scully ruefully. "That's exactly what *he* said. You two must be comparing notes." "Can't help it," she answered, ruffling his hair and standing. "You're our favorite subject." A glint of pleasure touched Mulder's eyes but disappeared all too quickly. "Jacqueline Stombres," he said soberly, his gaze dropping back to the row of little girl smiles, and his fingers tightening convulsively around the heart. Scully winced. "Location?" "Norristown, Pennsylvania." She frowned for a moment at the nagging familiarity of the name, then bit her lip. "Addy Sparks. That was where she lived." Mulder's face said it all -- no need to verbalize. "Why didn't the police notify us sooner?" "They didn't realize what they had at first. Jacqueline's parents are going through a messy divorce, complete with custody battle. When she turned up missing from her bed and they couldn't reach Dad, everyone assumed he'd taken her. Next thing you know, Dad returns from a fishing trip with his buddies only to be arrested by the cops staking out his apartment." "Meanwhile our boy has Jacqueline and a big head start," Scully finished tiredly. Mulder grimaced. "Guess custody won't be an issue now," he said darkly. "Mulder..." "What, Scully? Don't blame myself? It's not my fault? Is that what you're going to tell me? Well, maybe on paper you're right. But right here, " he jabbed his thumb savagely at his chest, "what's on paper doesn't count. He's killing these little girls for *me,* Scully, and all I've accomplished is to help dig up the bodies!" "You've done everything you can, and more than anyone could ask," Scully replied, walking around to massage the rigid muscles of his neck and shoulders. "Mulder, no one knows better than I what this case has cost you -- what it continues to cost you. You *will* find this guy, for those little girls and for yourself." Mulder dropped his chin to his chest, giving Scully better access to his neck. "I appreciate your faith in me," he said softly. "But I don't know if you realize how truly hopeless this is. Yes, we know his method of victim selection -- all girls between the ages of 7 and 11, all taken from their homes in the same cities that Roche preyed upon. Girls that are sometimes chosen for their physical resemblance to Sam." He paused, collecting himself before plunging ahead. "But what *good* does it do? Even if we can predict which towns he's likely to hit next, it's impossible to stake out the homes of every child in the at-risk group. Bottom line, Scully -- unless this bastard screws up, he could go on killing indefinitely." Treading carefully now, afraid of increasing his already overdeveloped sense of responsibility, Scully pressed forward. "Your profile...?" Mulder's voice held only resignation and a soul-deep weariness. "I'm trying. In many ways it's like profiling Roche all over again. But I have to go deeper this time, Scully. And even though I'm horrified at the thought of more dead children, that prospect scares me just as much." The office door swung wide open, halting Scully's reply before it could leave her lips. Grey strode inside carrying a cardboard tray with four cups of Barnie’s coffee, Skinner on his heels. "Got the good stuff," he announced, handing first Scully and then Mulder a cup. "I was headed to the cafeteria when I ran into Walt and he showed me the place across the street." Mulder's eyebrows appeared to be crawling off his head. "*Walt*?" Grey shrugged while Skinner just looked amused. "Hey, he's not *my* boss." "Forget it, Mulder," Skinner growled when he saw a smirk spread across his agent's face. "Don't even start." Mulder managed to look wounded. "Sir, the deep respect I hold for you would prohibit me from taking advantage of this situation in any way..." "Somebody hand him a shovel," Scully muttered, eliciting a delighted grin from her partner and an eye roll from Skinner. "Mulder, I came down because I was wondering if you planned on making the drive to Norristown to examine the crime scene -- such as it is," Skinner asked, sinking into a chair. "I know you like to view them firsthand, but this one has seen a lot of traffic. The local PD took the assumption that the father was the kidnapper and ran with it, and their preservation of the girl's bedroom was less than meticulous." Skinner's furrowed brow and clenched jaw told exactly what he thought of the Norristown PD. "I still need to see it," Mulder insisted stubbornly. "I have to get the feel of it, of what he was thinking. Do we have a photo yet?" "They faxed it about an hour ago. I'll see you get a copy." Skinner's gruff manner softened. "She's consistent with the previous victims." Mulder ground his teeth together, pushing himself to his feet. "Who *is* this guy?" he mused, more to himself than to the others. He paced the small open space in front of his desk, coffee cup gripped in his right hand and the heart still clasped in his left. "He says he admires me, that he wants to give me a worthy adversary. Yet he takes girls who resemble my sister, a choice that clearly speaks of revenge and aggression toward me personally. He's watching the investigation closely -- he knew when I left town and it obviously pissed him off. He wants my complete and undivided attention. He's accepting nothing less." Grey watched, disturbed and fascinated, as his brother's eyes lost focus and his voice dropped all inflection. He glanced uneasily at Skinner and Scully, but their concentration was riveted on Mulder, who had stopped speaking but continued to roam restlessly around the room. "Go on," Scully said quietly, her voice unobtrusive and deceptively mild but her body stiff with strain. "It's like there's a conflict within him," Mulder muttered. "Like he's being driven by two conflicting motivations. I don't understand the dichotomy, and I'm not sure how to proceed with the profile from two opposing angles. What does he really want from me? My admiration, or my anger? For me to appreciate his work, or for me to suffer because of it?" Mulder trailed off, an otherworldly expression on his face as he stared blankly at the wall. Scully cleared her throat and he shook his head dazedly, his gaze sharpening once more. He shot an embarrassed look in the direction of Grey and Skinner, the look of a small boy caught daydreaming during math class. Mulder tossed the heart onto the desktop beside the pictures and sank back into his chair, taking several large gulps of the coffee. Seeing Scully wince, Grey leaned over. "Decaf," he said conspiratorially. Scully mustered a small grin. "Now if you could just get him out of here..." "Mulder, I want you three to go home," Skinner said firmly, studiously avoiding Scully's gaze of gratitude. "Get some rest. There's nothing more you can do tonight, and you'll think more clearly on some sleep. Report to me after you've returned from Norristown and I'll update you on the forensic results of the note and the heart." He scooped up the baggie with the heart that Mulder had finally relinquished. "I'll put this with the others." True to form, Mulder refused to give up without a fight. "Sir, the profile..." "Will never be finished if you're too tired to think straight. Consider it an order, Agent." Mulder's shoulder's slumped, a sure sign he knew he was beaten. "Yes, sir." Skinner nodded slightly in acknowledgement and got to his feet, sending Grey a knowing look on his way to the door. Scully and Mulder both noticed the unspoken communication. She settled for a raised eyebrow, he choosing to verbalize his thoughts. "What was *that* little exchange?" he demanded, scowling. "I don't have a clue what you're talking about," Grey replied with wide-eyed innocence. "Is it my turn to drive?" Apartment 42 Friday 12:34 a.m. Grey did drive, and Mulder fell asleep with his neck cranked at an awkward angle and the side of his face pressed against the passenger window. The night air crackled with just a hint of cooler weather, and Grey drank in deep gulps of it while he waited for his brother to unlock the exterior door to his apartment building, fumbling with hands still clumsy from slumber. They plodded into the elevator with all the grace and agility of three geriatric patients, duffel bags in hand. When they doors rattled open on Mulder's floor no one moved for a moment, then each launched himself (or herself) off the wall that was currently sustaining them and plodded down the hallway. Scully propped herself against the doorframe while Mulder searched for the correct key, but he froze before he could push it into the slot. "Mulder?" Scully questioned, standing up straight. He shushed her with a finger to his lips and leaned his head closer to the wood until his ear rested just beneath the lopsided number two. The silence in the hallway became palpable until Scully heard the cause of Mulder's distress -- a low drone of voices from *inside* his apartment. Mulder stealthily placed his hand on the knob and rotated his wrist. Though he hadn't used his key, the knob turned freely. Adrenaline replaced lethargy in the space between heartbeats. Almost simultaneously, three duffel bags hit the floor and three weapons slid from their holsters. Mulder nudged the door open and reached inside to flick on the lights, training kicking in to control all movements. A snap of the kitchen switch flooded the room with fluorescence, revealing nothing, so they continued carefully onward. The small lamp on the end table cast a dim glow on Mulder's living room. He stalked forward, Sig held ready as his eyes rapidly scanned the room. Scully, only a step behind, was unprepared when Mulder suddenly gasped as if something had sucked all the air from his lungs and lurched backward. His blind need to back up was so great that his legs tangled together and he fell to his knees, nearly taking Scully with him. To her dismay, he dropped his gun and buried his face in his hands, body wracked with rough sobs. "Nooo!" he moaned, the sound like the cry of a wounded animal caught in a trap and unable to free itself. "Nonononono..." Grey's own sharp intake of breath pulled Scully's gaze from Mulder and she gaped at the tableau before her, face draining of color. Unable to believe what her eyes showed her, she left her distraught partner momentarily, creeping forward on legs made of rubber. Grey's hand clutched her elbow and she could hear him panting like a steam engine in her ear. Mulder's television babbled cheerfully, Lucy arguing with Ricky about whether she should perform in his latest show at the club. The coffee table in front of the couch had been moved carefully to one side, usurped by a board game with little red and blue pieces. Propped next to the game with her back against the couch and a red playing piece clasped in her stiffened hand, was the body of a little girl, her lips blue against her chalk-white skin and a long mane of black hair cascading down her shoulders. Scrawled in black magic marker on the wall behind the couch, a message caught Scully's shocked gaze and she tore her eyes from the pitiful figure. YOU CAN'T QUIT *THIS* GAME. WELCOME BACK. Georgetown Friday 1:53 a.m. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated tracks of dried tears on Mulder's face. Scully traced one with a featherlight finger, the smooth softness of his cheek giving way to the rough stubble of his jaw. Mulder didn't twitch, so far under that even his eyes were motionless behind closed lids. Tonight, at least, there would be no dreams -- for Mulder, anyway. Scully leaned over to press her lips to his, tasting the salty residue of his weeping. She stood, and the mattress creaked as if in complaint as her weight lifted. She rolled her shoulders in a vain effort to loosen muscles drawn taut with anxiety, then shuffled out to where Grey slumped on her couch, staring blankly at the silent television. Scully collapsed, rather than sat, beside him. "What was that you gave him?" Grey asked after several minutes of silence. "Valium," Scully said wearily. "A truckload of it, in case you were wondering. He'll be out at least six hours -- maybe longer, considering his current physical condition." "You always carry syringes and Valium in that little black bag of yours?" Scully sensed his uneasiness and guessed the reason. "Actually, it has nothing to do with Mulder, believe it or not," she answered wryly. She didn't go on to explain that the vial was a souvenir of her cancer. Near the end, the headaches had become so excruciating her oncologist had suggested it as a means of pain management. Grey noticed her reticence and left it alone. "I don't like seeing him drugged," he stated quietly, the fingers of his right hand toying with the fringe on her afghan. "I don't like *doing* it," Scully returned, an edge to the words. The raw pain in his eyes diffused her anger and she sighed. "He was in shock, Grey, and damn near dissociative. It was the Valium or risk a complete breakdown." Grey winced at the term, but nodded. Scully could see him replaying the scene in Mulder's apartment. After Mulder's initial emotional outburst he'd drawn into himself, trembling slightly with skin that was pale and clammy. Thank God, Skinner had taken over supervision of the crime scene. He'd taken one look at Mulder and insisted they retire to Scully's apartment immediately. Mulder had not argued, but followed Scully's lead as docilely as a small child. *That* had alarmed her more than his tears. As she drove them to her apartment Grey had questioned his brother gently, managing to coax a few responses. But Mulder's answers were sluggish, as if each required a monumental effort and a great deal of thought. He'd stared out the window with eyes that didn't really see the passing cars and his voice had been flat and lifeless. Once home, Scully had led him back to her bedroom and handed him pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt, assisting several times when Mulder lost focus on the task and stood staring vacantly out the window. She sat him on her bed, administered the Valium, and got him to lie down, stretching out beside him and holding him close. She'd kept up a running patter of calming words and gentle touches until his body went limp. Finally, Scully had allowed her own tears -- for Mulder, for Jacqueline, and for herself. "Will he be all right in the morning?" Grey's question pulled her from her drifting, anchoring her in the here and now. "Mulder has an impressive set of coping mechanisms, Grey. He'll be better -- much better. But I don't think any of us will be all right until this monster is behind bars." "Shame to waste the accommodations," Grey snapped venomously. "A bullet would be too good for this psycho." He closed his eyes. "I'm afraid it's going to be a long time before *that* memory fades." Tears burned Scully's eyes and stung the back of her too-tight throat. "At least it will, eventually. Mulder has an eidetic memory." Grey looked at her in horror. "I guess I never considered the ramifications of that. You mean every crime scene...?" "Every crime scene, every killer, every victim," Scully said softly. "How does he keep going? I don't think I could do it, Dana." Scully actually smiled a little, thinking of Mulder's dry wit and often-irreverent sense of humor in the face of the unspeakable. "Like I said, he's got an incredible ability to roll with the punches." "This is different, though, isn't it?" Grey said doubtfully. "Fox told me the whole story of Samantha's abduction. I understand as well as you what that killer did to him tonight. The lookalike, the Stratego game, the television... That's not a punch, Dana. That's an atom bomb." "There's more," Scully whispered, teeth clamping down hard on her lip. "*More*?" She hesitated, then pushed ahead. "I don't know how I'm going to tell Mulder this, but if what I suspect is true he'll see it in the autopsy report anyway. Mulder once told me that Samantha had broken her collarbone by falling off a tire swing. When Roche claimed he'd killed her, that was one quick way we had to determine the bodies we found weren't hers." "Go on," Grey prodded when Scully paused for a gulp of air to steady her jangling nerves. "I had only a moment to examine the body before we left, and I had to be careful because they were still taking photos. But...I'm reasonably certain that Jacqueline's collarbone was broken." Grey muttered a quiet expletive under his breath. "How does this guy know? Where's he getting this information? It's like he can see into Fox's head!" Abruptly, eerily, Scully was reminded of Mulder's words to her after Roche's death... *I profiled him, Scully. I got into his head, and somehow he got into mine, got access to all my memories of Samantha. Some kind of...of nexus was created between us...* "I don't know how he's doing it," she said aloud, dispelling the memory with a sharp jerk of her head. "Newspapers? The Internet?" "*A broken collarbone*? *Stratego*? Come on, Dana! You're reaching and you know it," Grey said, the warmth in his eyes softening the harshness of the words. Scully blew out a long gust of air, overwhelmed by the desire to sleep and escape for awhile. "Mulder believed that some kind of link formed between himself and Roche when he profiled him. He called it a nexus. He thought Roche was able to draw on his memories of Samantha." "But you don't agree." Scully pressed her lips tightly together to bite back a sharp retort. "I think other explanations exist. We just haven't thought of them yet." Grey's raised eyebrow increased her level of irritation. "Look, as far as I'm concerned, the key question is what this maniac has in mind for Mulder. Tonight's little show only confirms the depth of the obsession." "Then we stay on Fox like white on rice," Grey said calmly. Scully chuckled a little at that, and the darkness drew back just a little. "Have I told you lately how glad I am that Mulder has a brother?" Grey grinned. "You just did, darlin'. Now I, for one, am going to get some sleep." "There's sheets and blankets in the linen closet," Scully said, yawning at the mere mention of sleep. "I can make up the couch for you." "Don't be silly. I've been making my own bed since I was four, I'll handle it," he assured her dryly. "Good night then, Grey. And thanks." "Night, Dana." Scully moved quietly into the bedroom and shut the door, undressing by the slivers of moonlight that slipped through the blinds. Mulder was curled up on his side, the deep, steady sound of his breathing a comfort to her battered spirit. She slipped between the sheets and spooned up behind him, tossing one leg over his and slipping her arms around his waist. Though still deeply asleep, he pressed back into her warmth and comfort. And for a little while, the demons were held at bay. Georgetown Friday 9:30 a.m. The hiss of the shower spurred Grey to start a fresh pot of coffee. The water ran for a very long time, cutting off just as he'd decided to check up on his brother. By the time Mulder wandered into the living room, hair damp and feet bare, Grey had a mug of the hot brew to place in his hands. Mulder inhaled the aroma and made a small sound of appreciation before dropping onto the couch. Grey studied his brother surreptitiously under the guise of reading the newspaper. Fox still looked haggard, like a rubberband stretched to its limit and a breath away from snapping. But his eyes were clear and sharp, minus the frightening vagueness of the previous night. All in all, he looked amazingly composed for a man who had huddled shivering and sobbing on the floor not twelve hours earlier. Coping mechanisms -- Dana wasn't kidding. "Care to share your in-depth assessment with the subject?" Mulder asked sarcastically, startling Grey from his reverie. "Sure. Too pale, too thin, and looks like he could still sleep for about a week. Happy now, little brother?" Dad had been right when he said the best defense is a good offense. Grey grinned inwardly when Fox huffed but dropped the attitude. "Where's Scully?" "At Quantico, performing the autopsy. She left about an hour ago." Grey's tone softened. "Before she went she made me promise I wouldn't let you anywhere near the place." The affection and concern in Grey's face drove Mulder to his feet, ostensibly to take his now empty mug into the kitchen. While a part of him craved his brother's open and unconditional love like rain after a particularly long drought, the cautious, guarded side warned that his neediness would ultimately result in pain and loss. When it came to people he loved sticking around for the long haul, Mulder's track record was laughable. "Scully worries too much -- so do you," he growled over his shoulder as he carefully rinsed the mug and put it into the dishwasher. He'd have left it in the sink at home, but this was Scully's apartment, after all. Mulder expected a sharp retort, probably pointing to his recent meltdown as evidence that any worry was more than justified. Grey said nothing, however, and the silence pulled Mulder back into the living room. Back into the line of fire, so to speak. He felt himself mentally gearing up for an argument, hands unconsciously forming fists. He ignored the nagging psychologist's voice in his brain that suggested he *wanted* to provoke Grey's anger. That for Fox Mulder, accepting anger was much safer and more familiar than accepting love. As if reading his thoughts, Grey finally spoke. "Worrying goes hand in hand with loving, Fox. Sometimes it's nearly impossible to separate the two." "I can handle this," Mulder replied stubbornly, moving onto firmer ground. "I know I hared out last night, but it won't happen again." In spite of his declaration his voice trembled slightly, which only served to increase his impatience. Mulder clenched his jaw in an unintentional imitation of Skinner and glared at his brother. Grey's response was not at all what he expected, and caught him completely off balance. "What's it like, Fox?" he asked, his voice hushed and almost reverent. Mulder licked his lips. "What do you mean?" he asked, though he was fairly certain he knew. "Profiling. Getting into the killer's head and trying to think like him." Mulder sat down on a chair, sparing legs suddenly shaky and weak. He stared out the window and Grey watched his focus turn inward. When he finally spoke, the words were as smooth as glass, as bitter as day-old coffee. "It's like reaching into a deep, dark hole for something you've lost," he murmured. "Sometimes the hole is filled with hideous things -- rotting flesh, the slimy larvae of monstrous mutated insects, unspeakable creatures with sharp fangs and a taste for human blood -- but you only have to put your hand in a little bit to find what you need. Sometimes the contents of the hole are less appalling but you have to dig much deeper to get to your goal -- maybe even so far that it seems you're hanging onto the edge with your toes. And then sometimes..." Mulder trailed off, a small shudder passing through his thin frame. When he continued, his voice was little more than a whisper. "Sometimes, .the hole is filled with every conceivable horror and some not even the most twisted imagination could have conjured up. And you realize that to get what you need, you have to go deep into that hole, deeper than you've ever gone before. And once you're in, the terrible things all around you begin to feel a part of you and you start to believe you'll never get out. Because you've *become* the hole, and now you belong there." He dragged his gaze from the window and over to Grey, half expecting to see revulsion and disgust. Grey's face was unnaturally wan but his eyes held only compassion and a profound respect. "I've seen the emotional toll this exacts from you, Fox. Why do you keep doing it?" Mulder sighed and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "Because I can. Because maybe next time I can stop the madness before it's too late. And because I swore to myself a long time ago that I'd never let anyone else be victimized without putting up a hell of a fight." He stood and walked briskly back to the bedroom, reappearing several minutes later fully dressed and carrying his keys. Grey groaned. "Fooox! I promised her! You're going to get me into hot water with a woman who packs a gun!" he whined. Mulder's lips curved in the closest thing to a smile Grey had seen since the arrival of the latest heart. "Relax, I'm not going to Quantico. I'm going back to my apartment to examine the crime scene." *Like that's supposed to make me feel better*? Grey thought grimly. "You saw the crime scene last night," he said aloud, standing and placing himself between his brother and the door. Mulder rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Right. In case you didn't notice I was the one babbling on the floor." He paused to gather his patience. "Grey, I'm all right now, and I need to see it. That little nightmare was engineered just for me, and it's entirely possible that there's something there that only I would understand. I *am* going. You can either make my life more difficult or support me in this." Grey reluctantly moved aside but his face reflected his unhappiness. "You know, sometimes I think you have the ability to irritate me more than anyone else on the entire planet," he growled. "I just haven't put my finger on how you do it." Mulder opened the door and grinned smugly. "Check with Scully. She's making a list." Alexandria Friday 10:48 a.m. With the body long since removed and forensics departed, little remained to indicate a crime except the yellow police tape and the scrawled writing on the apartment wall. Grey stayed out of his brother's path as Mulder prowled around the apartment like a lean wolf on the scent of its prey. After nearly thirty minutes of scrutinizing the small living room from literally all angles he plopped down onto the displaced coffee table with a frustrated grunt. "There's something here, I can feel it. I'm just not seeing it." "Something in the message?" Grey suggested. "In the words he chose?" Mulder stared up at the wall, chewing his lip. "I don't see any revelations there. He's drawing a parallel between the game Samantha and I played and the game he thinks we're playing. Obviously he considers my little vacation to visit you an attempt on my part to quit." "Okay. What about the way he's written the letters? Does the handwriting tell you anything about him?" Grey prodded, grasping at straws. To his astonishment his brother abruptly sprang to his feet and stepped closer to the wall, looking decidedly ill. His eyes bore into the words with frightening intensity. "Fox?" "Where's that file?" Mulder demanded, the words clipped and harsh. "What file?" Grey asked, bewildered. "The file you were reading last night at the bureau. Roche's file," Mulder snapped as if Grey were missing the obvious. "It's in my briefcase, in your car, I think. Why?" "Get it." Becoming extremely annoyed with Mulder's dismissive manner, Grey nonetheless did as asked -- or ordered as the case might be -- grumbling a little under his breath. His brother literally tore the heavy file folder out of his hands without a word of thanks and carried it to his desk, where he began shuffling eagerly through the contents. "*Fox*!" Grey said from between clenched teeth. Mulder held up his hand, palm out, only to exclaim in satisfaction a moment later as he snatched up a piece of paper. Ignoring Grey's thunderous look he darted back to stand directly in front of the graffiti, eyes leaping from the wall to the paper and back again. The paper gradually started to quiver until it was shaking violently. Still baffled but no longer angry, Grey walked over to Mulder's side and gently removed the jittering report from the trembling fingers. His brother noticed only obliquely, eyes fixed on the taunting words. "Fox. What is it? What did you find?" Mulder managed to look at Grey for only a moment before his gaze was pulled back to the wall like steel to a magnet. "The handwriting," his said quietly through nearly bloodless lips. "I thought it seemed familiar. It's right here in the file, Grey. That handwriting belongs to John Lee Roche." Norristown, PA Friday 3:05 p.m. "I'm still not sure why we're doing this, Mulder," Scully admitted, staring out her window at the red-bricked ranch house. "You heard Skinner -- the local police did virtually nothing to preserve the scene. The photos are probably more useful at this point." *And you wouldn't have to face a grieving family*. Scully left *that* thought unspoken. Mulder shut off the car and turned to face her, jaw thrust out stubbornly. "I need to see it firsthand," he insisted. "The fact that the local boys were less than competent only increases the possibility of finding something they missed." "And, of course, Fox Mulder will be able to locate this elusive piece of evidence that neither the Norristown police nor the local bureau could discover," Scully said sarcastically, short-tempered from too little sleep and too much worry. Rather than bristling at her words, Mulder grinned cockily. "You catch on fast, Scully." Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Scully jerked open the car door and got out, waiting with arms folded across her chest as Mulder exited and crossed the front of the vehicle to reach her side. She started up the walk to the front door only to be stopped when a gentle hand on her elbow spun her around. "Scully, I don't understand what's happening here. How the writing from this maniac could resemble so closely the writing of another, very dead serial killer. How this guy knew all those details about Samantha, right down to her broken collarbone." Mulder's eyes slipped shut for a moment and he took a deep breath before continuing. "I can't think about it right now, not until I know for sure whether that handwriting is a match. Grey's covering things at the bureau until the lab finishes the analysis. Skinner's working with law enforcement in the towns most at risk. My job now is to finish the profile. And the only way I know to get into this guy's head is to follow his footsteps. Please, bear with me on this." If he'd resorted to the puppy dog face Scully could have held firm, but a sincere Mulder was impossible to resist. "I just hate to see you deal with this, Mulder," she confessed, studying his weary but determined features. "These people are mourning the loss of their only child. It won't be pleasant." The beginnings of annoyance crept into his eyes, but Mulder surprised Scully by appearing to consciously shrug it off. Instead he smiled gently. "Then let's get this over with." There was no doorbell, only a large, brass knocker that echoed harshly in the quiet neighborhood, sounding oddly urgent. A woman with raven black hair cut in a short bob and red-rimmed blue eyes stared suspiciously at them, opening the door only a crack. "Anne Stombres?" Mulder asked. "Yes?" They both held out their I.D.s -- it was practically an autonomic response by now -- and she scrutinized them carefully. "Agents Mulder and Scully with the FBI," Mulder said, his voice as gentle and unthreatening as he could make it. "Could we have a moment of your time?" The crack did not widen. "I've already talked to the police *and* the FBI. What more do you need from me?" Her voice was hoarse from tears, ragged with emotion. "Anne? Is there a problem?" interjected a deep voice from inside the house. A large hand wrapped around the door and pulled it completely open to reveal not only Anne Stombres but also a dark-haired man. He was easily Mulder's height, but heavily muscled with deeply tanned skin. "FBI, Agents Mulder and Scully," Mulder explained as he and Scully re-extended their credentials for another perusal. "We just need a moment, Mr..." "Stombres. Pete Stombres. I'm Jackie's father. This isn't a good time for us, you know?" Scully winced a little at the understatement in those words. "We're very sorry to intrude, Mr. and Mrs. Stombres. I assure you, we'll be as brief as possible." Pete Stombres's lips tightened in irritation but he moved aside in an unspoken invitation for them to enter. Both Scully and Mulder were surprised to see the man slip his arm comfortingly around his wife's shoulders, and equally surprised when she leaned into his touch. "What is it you need from us?" Anne Stombres repeated her earlier question wearily. "Actually, we just need to see Jaqueline's room," Mulder explained cautiously, not wishing to upset either parent further. Anne's eyes squeezed tightly shut, but a tear managed to trickle out from beneath the lids anyway. "Agent Mulder, our daughter is gone. That room is all we have left now. Can't you leave us that much?" "The police went over Jackie's room with a fine-toothed comb," Pete spoke up, obviously angered that they'd upset his wife. "What could you possibly gain?" Mulder looked silently at Scully, helpless in the face of the couple's distress. Sending him a silent look of encouragement, she gingerly attempted to explain. "Mr. and Mrs. Stombres, my partner and I are trying to catch the man who did this to Jackie and the other girls. Agent Mulder is constructing a profile, a...picture of the killer, so to speak. He looks at a crime scene through different eyes than a policeman would. He may find something significant that they missed." Anne fixed her gaze on Scully, her eyes dead. "To you it's a crime scene, Agent Scully. To us, it's a little piece of Jackie that monster couldn't take away." Mulder started to speak, but Anne held up a hand to forestall him. "Follow me. You can have five minutes." The phone rang as they moved down a long tile hallway toward the back of the house. "I'll get it," Pete said, giving his wife a small squeeze and pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. He moved through a doorway to their right that contained an office area. Anne led them to the left, down another hall to a closed door at the end. She paused with her hand on the knob for a moment as if steeling herself for what lay beyond. Then she slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Scully fought the lump that formed in her throat as she took in her surroundings. Jackie's room was the epitome of all that exemplified a little girl. The walls were pink, and a large white canopy bed sported a Minnie Mouse comforter. The bed itself was a sea of stuffed animals, and a set of shelves was loaded with dolls and doll paraphernalia. She watched Mulder swallow thickly, then square his shoulders and begin carefully going over the room, paying special attention to the window where the killer had entered and then removed the little girl. Anne leaned in the open doorway, the fingers of her right hand pressed tightly to her lips, and her eyes brimming with tears. Those eyes never left Mulder as he roamed restlessly around the room, stopping now and then to scrutinize an area more closely. Mulder, now fully engaged in investigator mode, was unaware of her regard. After initially canvassing the entire room, he spent most of his time between the bed and the window, even staring outside for several long minutes. Finally, he turned back to Scully. "I'm finished," he said quietly, though he still appeared distracted by something. Abruptly, Anne Stombres stood straighter, a hard expression replacing the tears in her eyes. "Can I ask you a question, Agent Mulder?" Scully recognized the wariness in Mulder's short nod, but only because she knew him well. His professional mask was fixed firmly in place, hiding the pain that came from sifting through the contents of a dead little girl's room. "You say it's your job to catch the killer, to draw a picture of him. But have you ever taken a moment to look on the other side of the fence? Do you have any idea what it's like to be the victim, to have someone you loved stolen from you?” Mulder's mask cracked, and Scully felt the sharp cut of the words as if they had penetrated her own flesh. She watched helplessly as her partner struggled to regain his poise. She expected an evasion, a deflection of the question to safer ground. His candor shocked her. "Yes. Yes, I do. My sister was abducted from our home when I was 12. We never found her. That's why I do this." Anne studied his face for truthfulness, her own crumbling when she found it. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her lip trembling. "I'm not sure which I think is worse -- the knowing or the wondering." "It's the difference between a first degree burn and a gunshot wound," Mulder replied quietly. "Neither one hurts more, just in a different way." Anne didn't speak again until she'd accompanied them back to the front door. As they started to leave, she laid her hand on Mulder's arm, and he looked down to see gratitude in her eyes. "Thank you, Agent Mulder. It may sound crazy, but knowing that the person looking for Jackie's killer really understands what he's cost us... Well, it means something to me." Mulder ducked his head in acknowledgement, uncomfortable with any further display of emotion. He watched as Anne shook Scully's hand with another murmur of thanks before ushering them outside. When the door shut firmly behind them he broke out into a cold sweat, his legs weak. "You all right?" Scully asked softly as he raised a trembling hand to brush the perspiration from his brow. "Yeah. Just peachy." She rolled her eyes, then frowned a little. "I remember you saying that the Stombres were going through a divorce, even fighting over custody of Jackie. They certainly seemed devoted just now." Mulder shrugged, but his eyes were sad. "It's a fact of any tragedy, Scully. It either brings people together or drives them apart." Scully nodded, knowing without Mulder saying the words what the impact on his family had been. She followed him down the walk, puzzled when he turned left at the driveway and walked around the side of the house. "Mulder? What are you doing?" "Checking the ground outside Jackie's window," he called over his shoulder as she labored to keep up with his long strides. "I thought I saw something." "It rained here last night. I don't think you're going to find anything." Might as well be talking to a brick wall. When Mulder was on the scent, everyone and everything else was superfluous. Scully sighed, muttered a few choice words, and followed. By the time she caught up he was on his knees beneath the window, head bowed to study the grass. His hand sifted through the long green blades and he sat back on his haunches, something held tenderly between his long fingers. Scully saw they were some kind of green leaves and frowned, observing that there were no trees in the vicinity. As she watched, Mulder lifted the leaves to his nose and sniffed. "Mulder? Mulder, what is it?" Scully demanded as he closed his eyes and went very still, the leaves quivering in his grasp. "Mint. These are mint leaves, Scully," he muttered. Deja vu again. As if it were yesterday, she heard Roche's soft, almost gentle voice describe his abduction of Karen Ann Filipante. *Mint grew outside her window. I stood outside her window atop sprigs of mint*. "What's happening, Scully?" Mulder asked, turning pleading eyes on her face. "How could he have known?" FBI Headquarters Friday 7:00 p.m. "Fox, eat," Grey ordered, setting a container of egg drop soup in front of his brother. "Yes, Mom," Mulder replied mockingly, but he picked up a spoon and took small bite. "When did you say they'd have word on that handwriting?" "I talked to Kristen about ten minutes before you two got back. She promised she'd have the report done in an hour," Grey assured him. Scully's eyes slid over to consider Grey carefully before moving on to Mulder, who only took another sip of the soup and studied Anne Stombres's official statement to the police. Scully rolled her eyes at his indifference, forking another bite of shrimp fried rice into her mouth. She, however, had heard something in Grey's voice when he talked about Agent Harding -- not to mention the fact that he'd used her first name. Very interesting. She'd have to revisit *that* subject at a later date. "Not that I don't already know what it's going to say," Mulder muttered, slapping the casefile closed and staring into space. "It's *his* writing. I know it." "Mulder..." Scully protested. "You aren't honestly going to tell me that you believe that John Lee Roche has returned from the dead to commit these murders, are you?" "You're only half right, Scully. He's definitely still dead, I'll grant you that," Mulder said, his expression stony. "So, what -- his ghost is committing the crimes? What are you trying to say?" Scully pressed, annoyed by his stubborn persistence to take the paranormal view. "Mulder, someone flesh and blood assaulted and strangled those little girls. You're letting your emotions over this case get the better of you." Wrong thing to say, she knew it the moment it left her mouth. "Oh, well then please enlighten me, Dr. Scully," Mulder sneered, his lip curled in disdain. "How do you explain the evidence? The handwriting? The killer's knowledge of my personal life? The damn mint leaves under the window? Why don't you give me your oh-so-rational and scientific explanation for that? I'm all ears!" "It adds up to nothing, Mulder! There's a perfectly logical explanation for those things, we just have to find it," Scully snapped, flushing. "Such as?" "Such as the Internet! The killer could have read all about the Roche case, it's even conceivable that he could have obtained samples of Roche's handwriting." "Oh, that is such bullshit!" Mulder fumed. Clang! The metallic ringing startled them both and their heads snapped around to discover the source. Grey stood grimly by a small metal table, a ruler clutched in his hand and a grim expression on his face. He'd evidently caused the sound by banging the ruler against the metal tabletop, which still vibrated faintly. "Okay, that's the end of this round. Now drop your fists and retire to your neutral corners," he said dryly. Scully had the good grace to look contrite. Mulder just scowled. "Look," Grey continued, dropping the ruler and moving between them. "We're all tired, and we're all frustrated. We also all want the same thing. Turning on each other is not going to stop the next child from being murdered." "He's right," Scully agreed quickly, standing up and moving next to Mulder. "And I'm sorry. I know you count on me to challenge your theories, not disparage them." Mulder reached out to grab her wrist, drawing her gently closer. "I'm sorry too. I didn't exactly open my mind to your hypothesis either." Grey smirked as they kissed, then jumped apart guiltily when the office door opened and Agent Kristen Harding stepped inside, Skinner on her heels. "Hello, Agent Mulder, Agent Scully," she greeted. Her smile broadened a little. "Hi, Grey." Scully raised an eyebrow, her mouth quirking slightly when Grey noticed and blushed. *Hmmm. Very, very interesting*. "You have the results?" Mulder asked, managing to sound both eager and apprehensive at the same time. He stood up and came around to lean on the front of his desk. "Yes, I do. Though I can't say I can explain them," Agent Harding admitted, brushing aside a strand of ash blonde hair. Her green eyes looked momentarily at Grey before flitting over to Mulder. "It's Roche's handwriting, isn't it?" Mulder pressed. She frowned and chewed her lip. "It's a complete match," she affirmed. She looked back at Skinner. "There's no mistake, sir. All the analysis points to a 98.3 percent probability that the writing on Agent Mulder's wall was made by John Lee Roche. It's all in my report." She handed it to Mulder, still frowning. "It makes no sense." "Thank you, Agent Harding," Skinner said gruffly. "I'm sure you've done a fine job, as always. And thank you for putting in the overtime necessary to finish this ASAP." Harding smiled, revealing two dimples. "Thank you, sir. I just wish the data could have been less confusing." She turned to leave the office, but not before Scully saw her flash Grey another small smile which he returned, eyes lingering on her until the door closed and removed her from view. An uneasy silence settled over the room. Mulder stared sightlessly at the wall, pulling absently at his lower lip. Grey, Scully and Skinner exchanged concerned glances until finally Skinner cleared his throat. "I realize we're all scrambling to try and make sense of this," he said, jaw clenched in the classic Skinner expression of frustration. "At this point, I can't begin to guess at an explanation. Unfortunately, I didn't come down to hear Agent Harding's report." Mulder's eyes darted to Skinner's face, scrutinizing it intensely. "No," he murmured brokenly. Skinner met his gaze without flinching, his brown eyes filled with compassion and regret. "I'm afraid so, Mulder. He's taken another one." Chilmark, MA 11:00 p.m. Friday Under other circumstances Scully would have found the seating arrangements amusing. Skinner had arranged for a bureau helicopter to fly them to Martha's Vineyard, and a patrol car from the Chilmark PD awaited them upon their arrival. Skinner, of course, had commandeered the front seat, leaving Scully, Grey, and Mulder to cram into the back. She now found herself in a position uncomfortably reminiscent of her childhood -- sitting on the hump in the middle so that Mulder and Grey had more room for their long legs. How many times had she sat similarly squished between Bill and Melissa? God bless Charlie, who had come along and forced her father to trade in the sedan for a station wagon. So sitting here now, knees drawn up, left her feeling more like that ill-tempered child than a grown woman. Any humor, however, died in the face of Mulder's blank, shell-shocked expression as he gazed out the window. Whoever the killer might be, he was pushing Mulder's buttons with eerie accuracy. It actually did remind her of... She shoved the thought away, offended that it had occurred to her. Scully bit her lip savagely, wishing she could pull Mulder into her arms and comfort him but all too aware of the Chilmark officer quietly talking with Skinner on the other side of the steel mesh. She closed her eyes, only to recall vividly the devastated look on Mulder's face when Skinner informed them that eight-year-old Callie Westin had been abducted from her home in Chilmark, not three miles from the house where Samantha Mulder disappeared. That it had happened while her 13-year-old brother was babysitting her after school. Since then, Mulder had been operating on automatic pilot, his body present but his mind on two little girls inexplicably linked by a madman. The Westin home shone like a beacon in the darkness, every light ablaze and surrounded by flashes of red and blue. Neighbors stood out in front of their homes, watching the activity with grim fascination and talking quietly among themselves. The police car pulled smoothly to the curb, the sudden cessation of the engine a harsh reminder that they'd arrived at their destination. Their driver exited the car quickly, leaving them blinking in the sudden brilliance of the dome light. Mulder unfolded himself from the back seat, regaining enough presence of mind to extend a helping hand to Scully as she crawled out after him. Skinner regarded them sharply, leaning one muscled arm against the roof of the car. "Emotions are running high on this case," he said, keeping his voice low. "I just want to remind you three that it's imperative you maintain the utmost professionalism. Let's not make things any harder for these people than we have to." "I'm not going inside," Grey said, ignoring Scully and Mulder's stares. "I think there's more than enough people in there already and I'll just feel underfoot. I'd rather take a look around out here, see if I spot anything useful." Mulder reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat and extracted a flashlight. "Here. I was a Boy Scout." Grey snorted. "In what lifetime?" Scully could have kissed him when Mulder grinned. Grey possessed a knack for delivering just the remark to turn his brother from the darkness. She unobtrusively gave his hand a small squeeze of gratitude as she moved past him toward the house. Organized chaos. Though small, the Chilmark police department had rallied well to handle the Westins' crisis. Forensics was concentrated in the back of the home, where the kidnapper had entered to remove Callie from her bedroom. A short, heavy-set man with an authoritative air questioned a couple sitting on the living room couch, hands linked tightly together. Both looked to be in their 40s -- the woman's brown hair peppered lightly with the beginnings of gray, the man sporting a generous amount of silver at the temples. For a moment, as Scully studied her face, the woman seemed familiar. Abruptly she realized it was not Mrs. Westin's features that struck a responsive chord within her, but the ravaged expression. The puffy eyes and haunted gaze echoed Ann Stombres's with frightening accuracy. Skinner stepped forward to introduce himself to the cop asking the questions, a Captain Eddings. Mulder hung back, nudging Scully and then ducking his head to speak softly in her ear. "I'd like you to question them, Scully. I don't think I'm up for this one. I'd rather just listen in and check out the crime scene." Two separate emotions played tug o' war with her heart, battling for predominance. Overwhelming relief that Mulder recognized his fragile sense of control and was acting to preserve it. Deep sadness that the killer had reduced him to such a state. Scully pasted on a smile she'd seen in a magazine. "No problem, partner." Mulder's answering nod told her he recognized the counterfeit nature of the smile but wouldn't call her on it. Scully turned her attention back to Skinner just as he was making introductions to the Westins. "...Special Agent Dana Scully and her partner Special Agent Fox Mulder. They'd like to ask you a few questions of their own, if you could just bear with us for a little bit longer." Mulder listened while Scully took the Westins through the usual battery of questions, leading them through the events up to and just after Callie had disappeared. His ears registered the couple's strained, halting answers while his eyes roved about the room, learning more about the Westins as people and not just victims. "Jason always watches Callie for the hour and a half after school until I get home from work," Trish Westin recounted tearfully. "He's been doing it for over a year now, and there's never been any problems. I never thought anything like this..." Mulder moved slowly around the sofa to a cherry table against the wall that displayed a myriad of family photos, some candid and some professional portraits. In one, a grinning boy that could only be Jason carried a much smaller Callie piggyback, her eyes sparkling mischievously at the camera as she waved her right hand. A sharp pain pierced him, and his heart felt as if it literally twisted in his chest. *Bad idea, Mulder. You're supposed to be maintaining some distance, remember?* "So Jason heard a sound that caused him to check on Callie? May I speak to him directly?" Scully asked gently. "Our pediatrician was by earlier and gave him something to help him sleep," Ted Westin replied, defensiveness creeping into his voice. "He was pretty shaken up." "Understandably," Scully murmured. "Can you tell me exactly what Jason told you he heard?" "He said it sounded like Callie gasped," Trish began. Her eyes filled with tears and she struggled to contain them before continuing. "He thought maybe she was just playing at first. Callie has a very fertile imagination, and she's always making up adventures, play-acting. He called out to see if she was all right, but she didn't answer. That's when he went back to her room, but..." Her voice cracked and she covered her mouth with one hand as if to catch the small sob that broke free. Her husband tightened his already iron grip on her hand. "Callie was gone. The screen was off the open window and she was no where in sight," he finished gruffly. "Jason ran outside to look for her, and when he couldn't find her he called Trish." "I was mad at her," Trish whispered. "Mad that I had to leave work early for what I was sure was a prank to scare Jason. They're always doing little things like that to tease each other." Unable to listen any longer, Mulder headed down another hallway to another little girl's room. Defeat tried to envelop him like a hug from an old friend but he shrugged it off angrily. *She's still alive. It's not too late.* Callie's room was as different from Jackie's as night and day. Where Jackie's had been soft and feminine from floor to ceiling, Callie's bore the distinct influence of an older brother. Star Wars figures resided beside baby dolls, a soccer ball next to ballet slippers. Helplessly, Mulder's thoughts turned to Sam, the girl who could hit a baseball but still liked to dress up in his mother's clothes and have tea parties with her dolls. He blinked rapidly, weaving among the officers dusting for fingerprints and using small vacuum cleaners to retrieve hairs and fibers. "Any luck?" A young policewoman looked up from her fingerprint kit, a grimace of frustration distorting her features. "It's not looking good. They're saying this is another of the Paper Hearts murders. Is that true?" Mulder turned away, fighting nausea at her words. "Not if I can help it," he growled. He stalked back out of the room, intending to return to Scully and Skinner when his eye caught a flicker of movement from across the hall. A door, cracked slightly so that a tendril of light shone through, shut quickly and Mulder heard the sound of retreating footsteps. He wavered a moment, then stepped over to the door and knocked softly. "Go away." The voice was young, scared, and coated in misery. On another night, in another time, it could have been his own. Mulder closed his eyes tightly, then knocked again. "I said, go away. I'm not talking to the police tonight, they said I didn't have to." "I'm not the police, I'm FBI," Mulder said dryly. "Does that count?" Silence at first, then sounds of footstep returning. The door cracked open and two brown eyes regarded Mulder carefully. "Honest? Like that guy in those Jose Chung books that hunts aliens with his partner?" Mulder winced. "You *read* that stuff?" The door opened a bit more -- now he could make out sandy brown hair and the freckled face of the boy in the photo. "I read everything. You didn't answer the question. You're really FBI?" Mulder grinned and used his index finger to draw an X over his heart. "Truth," he promised. "My name is Agent Mulder. Can I talk to you a minute, Jason?" The boy's reluctance was as obvious as his curiosity. "I guess so. But come in here. They think I'm sleeping, but I threw that pill they gave me away." He shuddered a little. "I don't want to sleep." Mulder squeezed into the bedroom, glancing at a life-size poster of Michael Jordan that adorned one wall before turning his gaze back to Jason. The boy wandered over to plunk down atop his rumpled bed and Mulder pulled out the desk chair for himself. Jason eyed him warily. "You probably want to know how I could let someone just walk in here and take my little sister," he said angrily. "After all I was the older brother, right? I was supposed to be in charge." Mulder felt the breath leave his lungs as if he'd been sucker- punched. He tried to cover his distress by adjusting the angle of his chair, deliberately taking slow, deep breaths as he did so. *God, if you're up there like Scully thinks you are, cut me some slack. I don't know how much more of this I can take.* Jason squinted at him, evidently not fooled by his stunt with the chair. "Why do you look like that?" he demanded. "Like what?" Mulder said evasively. "When I said that about being in charge your face got all white and you looked like you wanted to cry. Why? She's not *your* sister." Mulder had to admire the kid's powers of observation, if even they were irritating the heck out of him at the moment. He returned Jason's calculated stare and decided the boy deserved the truth. Beneath all his brave words and stoic front, Mulder detected a crushing grief that only a kindred spirit might recognize. If only just one person in his life had understood, had stopped to assure him that Samantha's abduction wasn't his fault... "My sister was kidnapped when I was twelve. My parents were next door at a neighbor's house and I was babysitting." Jason's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're not making that up to get me to talk to you, are you? 'Cause that would be pretty cold." Mulder shrugged. "Believe what you like. What matters is that I'm here to help find your sister. If you saw or heard anything important, I need to know." "I didn't think so at first. I mean, when I first came into her room I thought she was just playing a joke on me. That she was hiding under her bed, or had snuck out the window and around to the back yard." Jason's hard eyes softened into that of a confused little boy. "But then she didn't come out. And Mom was crying and calling the police and they started asking me lots of questions and getting me all confused and..." A single tear trickled down his cheek. "Now I'm not sure." "You're doing fine," Mulder assured him, meaning it. He couldn't help admiring Jason's fortitude under the circumstances. "Could you tell me what you thought you heard?" Jason shook his head, but not as a refusal to speak. "Not heard. Saw. When I first came into Callie's room and I saw the screen wasn't on the window, I thought she'd broken it and was hiding so she wouldn't get in trouble. When I looked out to see if I could find the screen, I think I saw a car parked out on the street just behind the bushes." Mulder tried to contain his excitement. It might turn out to be a dead end, but it was the closest thing to an eyewitness they'd had so far. Recalling Jason's words about a barrage of questions from the police, he kept his voice deliberately nonchalant. "Can you describe it for me?" Jason closed his eyes as if searching an inner screen in his mind. "It was white," he said slowly. "And long. And I think it had one of those tops on it -- you know, with the windows in them?" All the spit left his mouth. "A camper shell," Mulder stated, licking his lips. "Anything else?" Jason shook his head, still studying Mulder's face as if he were preparing for an exam. If he noticed the discomfort this time, he didn't question it, moving on to another topic. "Did they blame you? When your sister disappeared?" Mulder sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. Not as much as I blamed myself, though." He stood up and moved over to the door, wanting badly to get out of the room, away from the sight of his own eyes in the child's face. He paused with his hand mid-way through turning the doorknob. Forcing down the maelstrom of his own fear and confusion he sought out Jason and captured those eyes with his own. "I want you to listen to me now, Jason, and if you only remember one thing someone said to you tonight I want this to be it. This. Was. Not. Your. Fault. You couldn't have stopped Callie from being taken, no matter what you might have done differently." Jason didn't nod, only appeared to absorb Mulder's appeal and file it away for later consideration. Mulder opened the door but froze when Jason suddenly spoke. "Agent Mulder? You never said what happened to your sister. Did you ever find her?" Dark, humorless laughter threatened to erupt from his lips, and Mulder clamped them tightly together. *Kid, you have no idea what a loaded question that is.* "I'm not sure," he admitted aloud. Jason frowned. "How about Callie? Can you find her?" Mulder resisted the urge to avoid the boy's probing stare. "I'm going to do everything in my power." Astonishingly enough, his promise satisfied Jason and he bobbed his head, turning away. Mulder stepped into the hall and closed the door. The noise, bright lights, and commotion seemed overpowering after the quiet intensity of his sojourn in Jason's room, battering his senses relentlessly. He pressed both palms flat against the wall and leaned his forehead against the smooth surface, shutting his eyes. Disjointed images and snippets of conversation scrambled together in his sleep-deprived brain. *Mulder, promise me you'll try to keep your perspective.* *Do you have any idea what it's like to be the victim, to have someone you loved stolen from you?* *You went behind my back to Skinner? How could you do that to me, Scully?* *You're not just getting into his head, Mulder, you've let him get into yours.* *Did they blame you?* And she was beside him, as always, when he needed her most. A soft, cool hand pressed to the back of his neck, ruffling the hair. Mulder cracked open one eye to find Scully regarding him with concern and an almost blinding love. "I need to get out of here," he said hoarsely. Without hesitation or speaking another word, Scully took his hand and led him back through the living room and out the front door. When they reached the car, Mulder leaned back against the door and stared up at the star-filled sky. Scully followed suit, ignoring the fact that her body pressed more tightly along his than protocol would dictate. She felt him lean into her gratefully, but he remained silent. After several minutes Skinner and Grey joined them. "There's a good sized puddle of oil near the curb where the street runs behind those lilac bushes," Grey said, handing Mulder his flashlight. "Looks like a car was parked there for awhile. Our friend has a leak. Unfortunately, that doesn't tell us anything about the model." "A white El Camino," Mulder said woodenly. "With a camper shell." Scully pushed off the side of the car and spun to add her incredulous stare with the others. "Mulder, that's..." "Roche's car. I know, I dreamed it, remember?" Mulder replied bitterly. "Roche? Where did you get that description?" Skinner demanded sharply, one hand fiddling with something in the pocket of his coat. "Jason Westin. I spoke with him just now. He saw the car when he went in to look for Callie," Mulder explained. "Just the car, nothing else." "He wasn't sleeping?" Scully questioned. "Obviously. He palmed the sedative that the doctor gave him." Mulder's lips curved a little. "He's a tough kid. Scared and confused, but tough." Scully heard the emotion behind Mulder's words and returned to his side, slipping her hand into his. He looked down at her and cocked an eyebrow, imitating her familiar gesture. "Got an explanation for this one, Scully?" Scully's brow creased in irritation. "A different one from yours, I'm sure," she said dryly. "Though I do admit that it's unnerving..." "It's worse," Skinner cut in grimly, finally removing his hand from his pocket to reveal a piece of paper in a sealed evidence bag. Mulder sucked his lip between his teeth, eyes riveted on the note. "They found this in Callie's room, under her pillow," Skinner explained tersely. "It had your name on the envelope, Mulder. I'm not sure what it means, but I have a feeling you will." Mulder continued to stare at the proffered bag for a moment before reaching for it with a trembling hand. The streetlight illuminated the neat, almost feminine handwriting, identical to that found on his apartment wall. Mulder's eyes moved rapidly over the words and he slid slowly down the side of the car, curling forward to rest his head on his knees. Scully removed the note from his slack fingers and read, an involuntary gasp wrenched from her throat. The message was simple and all too familiar. *I can't wait to see your face.* Holiday Inn Boston Saturday 3:30 a.m. "SAMANTHA!" The scream tore Scully from a deep sleep and sent her fumbling blindly for her weapon, knocking the alarm clock on the floor in the process. Her initial panic faded as she became more aware of her surroundings and her ears registered the harsh, jagged breathing of the man beside her. The pale moonlight reduced Mulder to little more than an indistinct silhouette, but Scully could feel the tremors that wracked his body as they vibrated through the mattress. She reached over to switch on the small bedside lamp, its illumination muted but enough to chase back the shadows. Scully observed him carefully for a moment without attempting to touch him. Shortly after the shift in their relationship she'd been awakened by Mulder in the throes of a particularly intense nightmare and had rushed to comfort him, winding up with a bloody nose for her efforts. She'd taken it in stride, even made a small joke, but Mulder had been horrified. Since then, she'd learned to use a more cautious approach. He sat rigidly upright, hands fisted in the bedclothes, knees drawn up, and eyes staring wildly at the wall. His tee shirt stuck to his back and a light sheen of perspiration coated his face. Scully saw that he was in the "in-between" place, no longer asleep but not really cognizant either. She very gently lay her right hand on the nape of Mulder's neck, brushing her thumb back and forth over the short hairs there. It was an action she'd performed many times, and she knew it calmed him. After a couple minutes he dropped his forehead onto his knees and relaxed just a bit, though an occasional shudder still signaled his distress. "A seven?" she asked quietly, referring to the scale they'd invented to rate Mulder's nightmares -- one signifying merely strange and ten indicating paralyzing terror. "More like an eight," Mulder replied, the words muffled. "Want to talk about it?" Scully tried hard to keep the question neutral, but it wasn't easy. Truth was, she longed to have Mulder open up and confide in her, but he remained especially reticent about his nightmares -- claimed he'd only scare her with his scarred psyche. "It was an old favorite -- Roche kidnapping Samantha while I watch," Mulder said, voice deceptively light. He didn't add that in the dream he'd been an adult, and that Jason Westin had appeared, pointing his finger accusingly and snarling, "How could you possibly save *my* sister? You couldn't even save your own!" Instead Mulder just added, "I'm fine, Scully, no big deal." Rather than call him a liar, Scully slipped out of bed and padded into the bathroom. She filled the tumbler on the sink with cold water and after taking a sip herself, returned and nudged Mulder, whose head was still propped on his knees. She lay back down and watched him drain the rest, noting the way the water sloshed as he brought it to his lips. Mulder set the glass carefully on the floor by the bed and finally met her eyes. "Thanks, Scully." She looked at him -- tousled hair, shadowed eyes, tentative smile -- and two thoughts filled her mind. The first: *This man is extremely high maintenance, and always will be.* And immediately on the heels of that: *I love him. There's no place else I'd rather be.* Mulder looked at her quizzically. "Scully?" "Hmm?" "What were you thinking just now? You had a funny look on your face." Scully smiled. "That the only good thing about a nightmare is having someone hold you afterwards," she said. The look that spread over his face was a gift, and well worth a thousand sleepless nights. Mulder could be a bastard -- arrogant, cynical, and insensitive. Life had hardened him in many ways, caused him to take on layer after layer of protection. She was one of the very few allowed to view those layers from a different angle. To see the childlike wonder. The unwavering loyalty. The selfless love. The world only saw the irritation. Scully saw the pearl. Scully flicked off the light as Mulder uncurled and snuggled down beside her, his head pillowed on her chest. She pressed a kiss to the hair on the top of his head and curled her arm around his shoulders. "You want me to give you something to help you sleep?" she asked gently. A slight shake of his head was her answer, and she didn't press. She ran her fingertips lightly up and down the skin of his arm, smiling when he shivered a little, then went boneless. "I know you don't believe that Roche is the killer, Scully," he murmured drowsily. "And I know it sounds crazy. I'm the one who put the bullet in his head, after all. But the mint leaves, the car, the note -- how can you explain it?" Scully sighed. "I don't know, love. I'll admit, when I saw that note I was shocked. But there must be a logical explanation. Those interviews were filmed; maybe the killer managed to get his hands on the videotapes. As for the car - - well, we can trace that through the DMV tomorrow. We know it's still out there somewhere." Mulder didn't respond, but she could tell he was still awake, felt his tension return. "How do *you* explain it, Mulder?" "Remember Luther Lee Boggs? He claimed he could channel the souls of the dead. If I remember correctly, he even had *you* believing him. What if our killer is somehow channeling Roche?" Scully grimaced at the memory. "That was a difficult time for me, Mulder. I was vulnerable, you said so yourself." Mulder lifted his head to stare into her eyes, mouth curving. "You believed him, Scully. You can't deny that." Scully's mouth moved soundlessly as she desperately attempted to refute him, but Mulder only laid his head back down, still smiling. "I still think we need to explore a more mundane interpretation," she finally insisted. "Hey, Scully. In our line of work, channeling *is* mundane," Mulder replied smugly. He sucked in a deep gulp of air and nuzzled his face into the silk of her pajama top. "I have to find her, Scully. Before it's too late." The pronoun usage was not lost on Scully. She lifted her hand and wove her fingers into his hair, tugging gently until he raised his head. "WE, Mulder. I know that Jason got to you tonight, and I understand why. But you aren't the only one that wants to bring that little girl home safely. Skinner, Grey, and I are in this, too." Mulder ducked his head in a silent concession, then smiled. "I can't believe he's spending his vacation time like this," he said, referring to his brother. "It's not exactly the downtime he'd intended." Scully pursed her lips, eyes twinkling. "It may have its side benefits." Mulder's head popped back up. "What are you talking about? Why do you suddenly look like the cat that ate the canary?" "Let's just say someone at the bureau finds your brother very...interesting. And the feeling seems to be mutual." Mulder's eyebrow arched. "Who?" "Agent Harding," Scully said, enjoying her chance to be smug. "Get out!" "I'm serious, Mulder! If you hadn't been so wrapped up in the case you might've seen the looks they were giving each other. Did you notice they were on a first name basis?" Mulder snorted. "He's on a first name basis with *Walt* too, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't indicate attraction." He feigned a shudder. "God, what an image!" Scully smacked his shoulder but couldn't avoid snickering. "Don't take my word for it then. Just watch the next time they're together." "I never saw you as the matchmaker type, babe," Mulder said smirking. "Gonna have to start calling you 'yenta,' I guess." Scully bit back her retort when his hand crept up and he began casually unbuttoning her pajama top, all the while pressing soft kisses to the skin that was revealed. "Mulder? What are you doing?" she asked a little breathlessly. "Changed my mind," he answered in a husky voice that sent shivers up her spine. "I'm taking you up on your offer." "Offer?" Her fingers tightened in his hair and she wriggled a little as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. "Yeah, you know. To give me something to help me sleep." Scully closed her eyes and sighed again, this time in contentment. "Never let it be said I reneged on an offer." Brockton, MA Saturday 9:30 a.m. Mulder leaned against the car and stared at the small, rundown bungalow while he waited for Scully to join him. The early morning sunshine had given way to dark clouds that threatened rain, and a cool breeze ruffled his tie and provoked a small shiver. "Definitely a fixer-upper," he remarked dryly, indicating the roof shedding shingles and the peeling paint. "This is the place," Scully confirmed. "Steve Cole, 1414 Dinah Avenue. She smiled. "Relax, Mulder. I'm sure he's forgotten all about the way you helped him detail the car." "I still find it awfully coincidental that he's living in the Boston area," Mulder mused, ignoring her jibe. "When do the records say he moved here?" "Not long after we saw him. He was a kid still living with his parents then, Mulder. He's twenty-three now, and a mechanic at a local car dealership." Mulder started ambling toward the house. "All right. Let's hear what he's got to say." Steve Cole had matured since the day they'd searched Roche's old El Camino at his home in Hollyville, Delaware. He'd lost the gangliness of a teenager and become more muscular, now sporting a mustache in addition to his shoulder-length sandy hair. He greeted them politely and ushered them into a tiny, cluttered living room. Scully shot Mulder an amused glance as she moved aside several tee shirts to sit down on the couch. "You understand why we're here, don't you Mr. Cole?" she began briskly. Cole frowned. "Not really. I explained on the phone, Agent Scully, that I no longer have that car. I reported it stolen over three months ago --you can check the police report." "We've seen the report, Mr. Cole, but we needed to follow up on this personally. We have a witness that placed a car like yours at the scene of a kidnapping, and it's vital we do everything we can to track it down," Scully explained patiently. Cole's annoyance turned to interest. "Really? That car's something else, huh? First owned by a serial killer and now stolen by a kidnapper. Cool." "We'd just like to hear the details surrounding the theft," Mulder spoke up when he saw Scully's lips tighten and her eyes narrow. "When it happened, how you discovered the car was missing -- that sort of thing." "Happened two months ago, on July 18. I remember because it was exactly two weeks after the fourth," Cole said helpfully. "I'd gone out with some friends and got back at about 8 that night. Never would have noticed the car was missing until the morning, 'cept I needed to fix the towel bar in the bathroom and I keep my toolbox in the garage. When I got out back I saw the lock had been jimmied and the car was gone." "None of your neighbors saw anything suspicious?" Scully asked. Cole's lip curled in disdain. "There's not exactly a neighborhood watch around here. No one would notice if you marched naked down the middle of the street singing the Star Spangled Banner. No, no witnesses." Mulder seemed about to comment on Cole's illustration but Scully nipped it in the bud with a warning glare. "Anything else you think we should know? Any ideas who might have taken it?" he asked instead. Cole shrugged. "Beats me. It wasn't exactly worth much, though I'd fixed it up and it still ran well." He eyed Mulder shrewdly. "This kidnapping has something to do with those Paper Hearts murders, doesn't it? I’ve seen it on television. You think the guy sending you those hearts stole my car?" "Thank you for your time, Mr. Cole," Scully said shortly, standing up and offering her hand. "I'm sure you can appreciate the fact that we aren't at liberty to discuss the specifics of an ongoing investigation." If Cole resented her brusqueness he didn't let on, merely saw them to the door without further comment. "What do you think?" Mulder asked, leaning back into the passenger seat while Scully buckled her seat belt. "I think he typifies the worst in human nature -- the sick fascination with car accidents and other disasters," Scully replied, pursing her lips in distaste. "Other than that, I'd say he's a dead end. The police were unable to collect any useful evidence at the time of the theft, so we have no way of knowing who took the car or where he is now." She pulled her eyes from the road long enough to take in Mulder's defeated expression. "Sorry, love. I'd hoped this would be our break, too." Mulder closed his eyes. "All I can hear is the ticking of the clock, Scully. Time's running out for Callie Westin." There was really nothing to say to that, so Scully just drove in silence. Though the drive to the Boston field office took less than 30 minutes, Mulder surprised her by slipping into a deep sleep. Risking his wrath, she changed course and returned to their hotel, shaking him gently awake when he didn't rouse on his own. He mumbled an apology as he sat up, rubbing his eyes and blinking. When he realized their location he scowled. "Why are we here, Scully? I thought we were headed back to the bureau." Scully mustered every ounce of patience she possessed. "Mulder, you're exhausted. Go grab a nap, there's nothing you can do right now anyway. Grey's coordinating the lab analysis with the D.C. bureau and he'll call when the results come in. And Skinner asked me to accompany him to get an official statement from Jason Westin." Mulder's brow furrowed. "Why you? I'm the one he talked to last night. Or did Skinner forget that?" he asked through clenched teeth. "He didn't forget," she replied mildly, curbing her own irritation and the desire to snarl, "Why not me?" "He's worried about you, Mulder. He sees what this case is doing to you, and he's trying to spare you any unnecessary stress. This won't be easy for Jason, and Skinner feels you are too emotionally invested to remain objective." "I'm touched you all seem to know me so much better than I know myself," Mulder sneered. "Tell me, Scully, do you and Skinner have a regularly-scheduled time when you meet to decide my life for me? You know, whether to remove me from a case, whether or not I'm capable of conducting an interview? Is it marked on your calendar?" "Stop it!" Scully snapped, flushing with anger. "You know that's ridiculous! I already apologized about asking Skinner to take you off the case. Anyway, this is completely different!" "Is it? It doesn't feel different." "I had nothing to do with this! Skinner made the decision." "But you agree with him, don't you? You were only too happy to go along with it. Go along with *him*," Mulder said nastily. Scully's eyes widened. "What exactly are you implying?" "You figure it out." "No. You're the one that brought it up. What did you mean?" Scully's voice shook with fury, masking the impending tears. Mulder looked at her, his face expressionless. "I'm not blind, Scully. I've seen the way Skinner looks at you. Hell, he made a deal with Cancerman for you! Who could blame you for getting tired of my shit and wanting someone lower maintenance?" Scully could only gape at him in shock as he threw open the car door, her mind stuck on the fact that Mulder had echoed her own thoughts of the previous night. "Mulder..." she said helplessly. He leaned in the open door. "Save it, Scully. I'm too tired, remember? I need a nap." He shut the door firmly and didn't look back. Scully leaned her forehead against the slick plastic of the steering wheel and wondered what exactly had just happened. Holiday Inn Boston Saturday 11:15 a.m. Remorse hit fifteen minutes later. That was the problem with remorse, Mulder mused, lying on the bed with his fingers laced beneath his neck. It always came too late, after the damage was done. Definitely not a proactive emotion. So he lay on his back, replaying the argument with Scully over and over in his mind, wincing in all the spots where he'd acted like a jackass. He found himself wincing a lot. The little voice in his head, the one that had whispered from the beginning that his relationship with Scully was doomed to failure, had risen to a shriek. Mulder had few misconceptions about his character. He loved Scully too much not to admit she deserved better than he could offer. Maybe after today, she'd come to the same conclusion. His thoughts meandered from Scully to Jason, and from Jason to Callie. His bitter disappointment over the lead to Roche's car tasted like bile in the back of his throat. The first concrete piece of evidence in three long months, and it had ended in a brick wall. Mulder's eyes slipped shut and he drifted, neither awake nor asleep, but somewhere in between. He recalled meeting Steve Cole for the first time and finding Roche's collection of hearts hidden in the El Camino's camper shell, tucked between the pages of a copy of Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland. Sam had adored the book, coaxing him to read it aloud to her countless nights at bedtime. The rumors that Lewis Carroll had been a pedophile coupled with Roche's twisted obsession tainted but couldn't completely negate those happy memories. He remembered Sam dressing as Alice for Halloween one year, furious when he teased her mercilessly by pointing out that Alice was a blonde, not a brunette. She'd even used their old and bad tempered cat as a prop, insisting everyone call the feline Dinah, like Alice's cat... Dinah. Mulder's eyes flew open and he bolted upright so abruptly that his vision momentarily grayed while the blood struggled to catch up with his head. How could he have forgotten? Alice had a cat named Dinah. And Steve Cole currently resided on Dinah Avenue. Coincidence? Not likely. Mulder carefully searched his memory, analyzing Cole's every word. Like a slap in the face, it hit him. *You think the guy sending you those hearts stole my car?* *No one* knew the killer mailed the hearts personally to Mulder. The media had ferreted out the fact of their existence, but only a handful of agents directly assigned to the case knew he was the recipient. So how had Cole known? Unless Steve Cole was the killer. Mulder stood and began to pace, running his fingers nervously through his hair. Time to use logic. Scully would be proud. He felt a splinter of pain at the thought and set it deliberately aside. Callie's life depended on his full attention. Fact one: Steve Cole owned Roche's old El Camino, conveniently reporting it stolen just prior to the first murder. Fact two: Steve Cole moved to the Boston area, the city Roche once made his home and where he'd spent his final hours. In addition, he lived on a street that bore the name of a character from the book that was the crux of Roche's obsession. Fact three: Cole knew the killer sent Mulder the cloth hearts, information that had not been made available to the police, let alone the general public. Conclusion? At the very least, Steve Cole merited a closer look. Mulder stalked over to his suit jacket and fished out his cell phone, dialing the Boston field office with trembling fingers. "Yes, I'm trying to locate Detective Grey McKenzie," he told the frighteningly perky receptionist. "He's working on the Westin kidnapping. This is Special Agent Fox Mulder, could you page him for me?" Mulder waited, pacing restlessly in the small confines of the room. Outside, rain pattered on the window in a soft staccato beat broken occasionally by a low rumble of thunder. He stared at the dark, low-hanging clouds and thought about Callie Westin, scared and vulnerable, in the custody of a killer. "Come on, come on," he muttered under his breath, left hand clenching and unclenching in an impotent fist. "I'm sorry, Agent Mulder, but they said he stepped out to get some lunch," the receptionist said cheerfully. "Can I take a message or have him call you?" "No. I mean, yes! Tell him I said that I think Cole is our man, and I'm going to check him out," Mulder said hurriedly. "Tell him to get Agent Scully and meet me there." "Yes, sir." Mulder hung up and flipped the phone book open to the car rental section, grimacing when he considered Scully's reaction to what he was about to do. He'd promised -- no more ditching. But Grey was unreachable, and if he called Scully she'd insist he wait until she and Skinner could get back from the interview with Jason. Too much time wasted, time that Callie didn't have. Jason's solemn face popped into his mind. *What about Callie? Can you find her?* Mulder picked up the phone and dialed. On route to Brockton Saturday 1:30 p.m. Scully received Grey's frantic call when she and Skinner were still about 30 minutes from the Boston bureau. They'd taken the helicopter to New Bedford, where Jason and his parents had met them for the interview, and were nearing Logan Airport when Scully's phone chirped and all hell broke loose. Skinner broke several speed records to reach the bureau, where Grey was ready and waiting to jump into the car. "Tell me again -- everything," Scully demanded tersely as they sped down Highway 24 to Brockton. "Dana, there's not much to tell," Grey replied, his own frustration evident. "I left to grab some lunch at about 11:30. When I got back there was a message from Fox saying that he believed Steve Cole was the killer and he was going to investigate. He said for us to meet him there." Scully cursed like the sailor's daughter she was, oblivious to Skinner and Grey's surprise. "He swore to me that his ditching days were over!" "He's not thinking past Callie Westin," Grey remarked quietly. "I heard him scream out Samantha's name last night. This case has crossed the line for Fox, become far too personal." "I know that!" Scully snapped. She stopped and took a deep breath, calming herself. "I'm sorry, Grey, I don't mean to take this out on you. This is my fault. I never should have left him alone, not knowing the state he was in." She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Past experience should have taught me a lesson." Skinner, who had remained conspicuously silent since Grey's phone call, glanced sharply at her from his position in the driver's seat. "I was wrong back then, Scully. I should never have made you responsible for Mulder, it wasn't your job." "But it is now," Scully said softly, catching her lip between her teeth and gazing out the window at the slackening rain. "Scully, you were there this morning, you heard the same things Mulder did. Can you think of anything Cole may have said or done that would have convinced Mulder he was the killer?" Skinner asked mildly, trying to direct the conversation to more a more productive topic. Scully considered the question carefully, frowning. "He told us about how the car was stolen," she recalled slowly, then made a face. "He thought it was 'cool' that first a serial killer and then a kidnapper would be interested in the car. Creep." "Then he asked if our interest had anything to do with the Paper Hearts case and..." Scully broke off abruptly, going very still. Grey leaned over the back seat. "What? What did you remember?" "He said something about Mulder receiving the hearts. But that's confidential, the only way he could know that is if..." "He's sending them," Skinner cut in grimly, pressing his foot more firmly to the gas pedal. "Hang on, we're almost there." Cole's street lay deserted and silent. A single tan sedan hugged the curb halfway down the block from the bungalow. Skinner parked behind it and they got out, Scully striding over quickly to peer in the windows. "Looks like a rental," she observed, worry creeping into her voice. "Could be Mulder." Skinner reached the front door first and ignored the doorbell, pounding on the wood with the side his fist. "Federal agent, open the door!" he ordered loudly. Cole didn't come to the door, and they detected no movement through the half-opened blinds on the picture window. Skinner repeated his order once more, then stepped back and delivered a strong kick that splintered the cheap wood and sent the door rocking back on its hinges. Seconds after entering, Scully knew the house was deserted. She went through the motions, spreading out from Grey and Skinner to search the four small rooms thoroughly, but her heart thumped wildly in growing fear. Her Mulder alarm, engaged the moment she'd answered her phone to Grey's barely concealed panic, had risen steadily in volume until it blocked out all other thought. Her heart already knew Cole was the killer, and that somehow he'd taken Mulder. It was just a matter of confirmation. They met up in the kitchen at the back of the house, empty handed. Skinner, his weapon still gripped in both hands, gestured out the back door at the ramshackle, single-car garage. Scully and Grey followed silently as he led the way across the tiny backyard to the structure. The large wooden door hung partially open, the bottom suspended two feet above the concrete floor. No one was surprised when Grey lifted it the rest of the way with an earsplitting squeal of rusty hinges to reveal a vacant interior. Scully spied a dark patch on the filthy floor, and walked quickly over to examine it more closely. Skinner watched as she leaned down and touched two fingers to the spot, then rubbed the substance between fingers and thumb and gave it a small sniff. "Oil," she announced, the word ripe with unspoken emotion. "It's fresh. I'm sure the lab will find that it matches the oil found at Callie Westin's house." "He could still be all right, Scully," Skinner said, moving over to lay one hand on her shoulder as she rose to her feet. "He could be following Cole somehow. We don't know that's Mulder's car outside, and there's nothing so far to indicate he's been incapacitated or taken against his will." "There is now." Grey stood in the open doorway, hair slightly damp and curly from the rain and his face stricken. "I went around the side of the garage to the window. There are a lot of tracks in the mud and someone brushed the dirt off the panes so you can see inside. And I found this." Grey stretched out his right hand, revealing fingers stained crimson. Scully slammed her eyes shut against a sudden deluge of tears. "Mulder," she whispered brokenly. Shaking off his own inertia, Skinner took charge. Pulling his cell phone from the pocket of his black trench coat, he slid into Marine mode and began issuing orders. "Grey, check the plate on that rental and see if you can trace it to Mulder. You can use the phone in Cole's house. Scully, call the lab at Quantico and get them to fax a copy of Mulder's blood and DNA information to the Boston bureau. Also, you'd better grab a sample while you can, it's a miracle the rain hasn't washed it completely away already." "There's an overhang," Grey explained, still subdued. "It's held off the worst of the moisture." He turned and headed for the street, shoulders hunched against the drizzle. "I'll get forensics down here to do a complete sweep and inform the local boys what's going on," Skinner continued. "Once we cover the basics we can begin to figure out where Cole might have gone." Seeing that Scully had paused with phone in hand while she regained her composure, he sighed. "Scully . . . Dana. We know who we're after now, and he doesn't have much of a lead. We *will* find him. Mulder is a trained agent and a psychologist; he'll hold Cole off until we can get there." Skinner was relieved to see Scully's eyes harden and her shoulders square in determination. She sent him a quick nod of acknowledgement and began punching numbers ferociously into the phone. Satisfied, Skinner stepped away to make his own calls, wishing his own confidence matched his words. Location unknown Saturday ??:?? At first, his only sensory perception was pain. It engulfed his five senses so that not only did Mulder feel, but saw, smelled, tasted, and heard it as well. He couldn't remember who he was or why he would be hurting this much, his brain a confused jumble of sounds and images that wouldn't translate into coherent thought. Gradually he became aware that he was curled on his side, the surface beneath him hard and smooth. An annoying sound intruded on his pain -- a soft, incessant whimpering that abraded his raw nerve endings until he wanted to scream. He attempted to raise one hand to explore his head, which seemed to be the source of his distress, but something cold and metal anchored one hand to the floor by his cheek and the other arm was pinned beneath his body. He snaked his tongue out in an effort to soothe dry lips, moaning a little when even that small action increased the pounding in his brain. The quiet sobbing rose a notch in volume. Why didn't Scully make it stop? Like a magic charm, that one semi-lucid notion caused a cascade of memories to click into place. He was Fox Mulder. He'd been hunting a serial killer, a killer that kidnapped little girls... Mulder's eyes flew open and he tried to sit up, only to learn his previous suffering was just the tip of the iceberg. White-hot agony sliced through his skull, ripping a hoarse scream from his parched throat. Before the torment could begin to subside an overpowering wave of nausea caused him to be violently, unreservedly ill. The whimpering rose to a wail for several minutes before receding. Blearily thankful he'd skipped lunch, Mulder dragged himself away from the mess he'd made. His blurred vision registered the fact that he was handcuffed to a large pole, and he leaned his forehead against the cool metal while struggling to remember just how he'd landed in such a fix. Searching his memory was like looking through a piece of Swiss cheese, the continuity broken by irregular holes. He recalled driving alone to Steve Cole's house, but couldn't remember why Scully and Grey hadn't been with him. He knew he'd circled around to the back of the house, covertly peered in several windows to determine that its owner was not inside, then cautiously made his way to the garage. But he couldn't recollect why the garage had seemed so important or what he'd been trying to find. The rain had picked up a little, he remembered, making him grateful for the roof's slight overhang that provided some shelter. A thick layer of dirt and grime had coated the garage's single window, turning it opaque. Mulder pictured himself brushing aside the grit with the palm of his right hand and then dusting it off on his trenchcoat. The glass had felt cool on his cheek as he pressed close to avoid the glare. Then... Nothing. He had a vague feeling of triumph, then intense pain. From his current predicament, Mulder gathered that he'd found whatever he'd been looking for, and Cole hadn't been pleased. As his discomfort ebbed to a more manageable level, Mulder was able once again to note the soft sobbing. He slowly pulled himself up to where he could brace his back against the pole, fighting against the urge to vomit again. For the first time he comprehended that he was sitting on the floor of a bus. Someone had removed most of the front seats, creating a large open space around the pole to which he'd been cuffed. Mulder squinted against doubled vision, tracking the origin of the cries. A small girl with curly brown hair and tearful blue eyes pressed herself more tightly into the corner between one of the remaining seats and the wall of the bus, regarding Mulder with barely restrained terror. Another puzzle piece snapped into place. "Callie? Are you Callie Westin?" Mulder asked, flinching as each syllable sent a knife through his head. No words, but the barest nod of the head acknowledged his question. Struggling to put on his most reassuring smile, Mulder ruthlessly pushed back his own misery. "Callie, I'm an FBI agent and I'm here to help you. My name is Fox," he said soothingly. Even as he uttered the words, Mulder realized how ridiculous they must sound. Inexplicably, a scene from Star Wars popped into his head - Luke and Han breaking into the detention block to rescue Leia only to become trapped themselves. *This is some rescue! When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?* He squashed hysterical laughter that threatened to slip out and pulled his wandering attention back to the little girl. Callie's sobs tapered off to sniffles but she didn't attempt to approach him. Frustrated, Mulder realized what a frightening picture he must present. The pain in his head caused him to periodically grimace, he could feel the stickiness of drying blood down his neck and onto his collar, and he'd just puked like a drunk after an exceptionally productive binge. Then inspiration struck. "Callie, I talked to Jason last night. I promised him I'd do everything I could to find you and bring you home." Callie's lip trembled and fresh tears spilled down her pale cheeks. "I wa...wa...want t..to g..go home!" she moaned. Mulder silently held out the arm not encumbered by the handcuffs and in seconds it was filled with a soft, silky-haired bundle with an iron grip. For just an instant, the child in his lap eclipsed his own hurt and fear, and he actually smiled. "Shhh," he crooned. "It's okay, kiddo. Did he hurt you?" Callie shook her head, releasing her death grip on his neck and considering him gravely. "But I don't like the way he looks at me. And he talks...he talks like he's two different people." "What do you mean?" Mulder asked. Callie shrugged and scrubbed away her tears with one small fist. "Sometimes he's nice. He told me I could call him Steve and he promised he wouldn't do anything bad to me and he'd take me home soon. But then he changed. His voice sounded different -- scarier. He called me Alice even though I kept telling him my name is Callie. And he said he's going to take me away from here to a better place." The corners of her mouth turned down and her lip stuck out. "I don't want to go to a better place, Fox. I want to go home. Please, take me home!" Mulder looked down at himself, sparking another stab of pain. Cole had stripped off his jacket and both weapons, leaving no way to contact Scully and no means for defense. He tugged hard on the cuffed hand, succeeding only in abrading his wrist. The metal pole, bolted to both floor and ceiling, never quivered. As for his physical condition - he'd received enough blows on the head to recognize a concussion like an old friend. Vomiting, dizziness, blurred vision, and the attention span of a two-year-old all indicated a serious trauma and seriously compromised his ability to rescue himself, let alone a small and relatively helpless child. Recognizing that his thoughts were wandering once again, Mulder turned his gaze back to Callie. "Listen, kiddo, you're not chained are you? Have you tried to get out of here?" "I tried," Callie replied, chest still hitching occasionally but calm again. "He's got it all locked up and the windows won't even open. He caught me trying to break one when he brought you in and he was got really mad. Said that if I ever tried it again he'd make me very, very sorry. Said he'd hurt Jason." Mulder gritted his teeth against a surge of anger at the girl's words. "All right, Callie, I want you to listen closely because we don't have much time and Steve could be back any minute. I'm going to be looking for a chance to distract Steve in any way that I can. I'll grab him, trip him -- something that will give you a chance to get out of here. I need you to be ready to run when that happens. Don't worry about me and don't stop, no matter what happens or what Steve might say. You just head for that door and keep going. Do you understand?" Callie nodded, but her blue eyes considered him soberly, reminding Mulder of Jason's appraising stare. "But what about *you*, Fox? How will you get away?" How do you explain to a child that the plan to save her life will most likely cost your own? That the plan itself is little more than a last ditch effort with a slim chance for success? You don't. Mulder smiled. "You'll go and get help," he replied easily. "Then you come back and rescue me." His answer achieved the desired effect. Callie smiled, pleased with the idea of saving not only herself but her new friend as well. "What do we do now, Fox?" Mulder leaned his throbbing head back against the pole and closed his eyes. "We rest a little, and wait," he replied, vaguely concerned when his words slurred lazily but unwilling to focus on the reason. He struggled against the lethargy that crept over him, making his limbs feel leaden and his thoughts liquid. Scully's voice, sharp with worry echoed in his mind. *Mulder, you have a concussion. You have to stay awake.* "Can't, babe," he mumbled, feeling the impending darkness carry him away from the pain and giving himself over to it willingly. Boston Field Office Saturday 5:35 p.m. "Stop it." Scully raised her head from the conference table and regarded Grey, brows drawn together. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything!" "You're giving up on him," Grey replied. "Resigning yourself to the fact that we won't find him in time." "I am not!" Scully snapped, leaning across the table to glare at him. "I would never give up on him. *Never*." "Good. Because we *are* going to find him, Dana. We'll figure out where he is and haul his ass out of the fire just like every other time." Scully raised an eyebrow and his vehemence. "Who are you trying to convince? I'm already there." Grey sighed and slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. "I can't believe this is happening." He abruptly smacked both hands, palms down, on the table with a sharp crack that startled Scully. "How could he do it, just walk in there like that? Is he out of his mind? Doesn't he ever stop to think -- at least about everyone else, if not about himself?" Scully sat silently through his ranting, caught between the urges to laugh and to cry. "Grey, you already know the answers to those questions. You were the one who reminded me how personal this case is for him. Mulder's problem isn't that he doesn't think about others. That's all he thinks about." "I hate feeling this way! He's trapped God knows where with a killer and I'm pissed at him. Can you believe it?" Grey ran both hands through his hair and then dropped them to his sides. "What is bothering you, Dana? Aside from the obvious, I mean." Scully stared at the oak tabletop, pressing the tip of her tongue into her cheek. "When I accepted the fact that I loved Mulder, I had to accept that I could lose him. I'd be a fool not to prepare myself for the possibility, it's in the very nature of what we do. What I can't accept..." She broke off, breathing deeply. "What I can't accept," she continued softly. "Is that if Mulder dies now, the last words spoken between us will be words of anger." Grey studied her face. "You had a fight?" Scully pursed her lips and shook her head. "Actually he fought -- I just listened. But I guess that was part of the problem. He was being a suspicious, insecure bastard and I was too tired and angry to invest myself in yet another session of reassuring him. So you see, I'm worse off than you are, Grey. You just *missed* the clues -- I saw them and turned the other way." Grey reached across to take her hand. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Dana. I love him, but Fox does require a rather large emotional investment." Scully's lips curved but her eyes glistened with tears. "Mulder calls it 'high maintenance.' He said he wouldn't blame me if I wanted someone that needed less." "Such as?" Skinner chose that moment to enter the conference room, a stack of files in his hand. Scully gave Grey's hand a quick squeeze and released it. "You wouldn't believe it," she murmured wryly. "You have the blood type analysis, sir?" Skinner tossed the folder on the table in front of her. "No surprises, Scully. The blood type matches Mulder's and they found several of his prints on the window." "The car was rented under Fox's name," Grey confirmed, sliding his own folder toward Skinner. "He used his badge as muscle to get it delivered to the hotel as quickly as possible." "I ran a thorough check on Cole, hoping to come up with something that might tell us where he's gone," Skinner said, sitting down on a corner of the table. "I'm afraid I've come up empty. Both Cole's parents were killed in an auto accident two years ago and their home was sold shortly after. He has no siblings, and from what his boss tells me, not many friends. Called him a real loner that keeps to himself." "There goes my suggestion," Grey said gloomily. "I was thinking he might have gone back to Delaware, where he lived with his folks." Scully tore her eyes from the relentlessly ticking clock, bowing her head and rubbing the tight muscles at the base of her neck. "We don't know enough about Cole," she observed, frustration sharpening her tone. "Mulder would say..." She froze, sitting up straighter. "Mulder would say what?" Skinner prodded. "We're approaching this from the wrong direction," Scully said slowly. "Last night, when Mulder and I were discussing the case he put out this off the wall theory..." "Nothing unusual there," Grey muttered. Scully shot him a quelling look and continued. "He suggested that the killer could be channeling the spirit of John Lee Roche, hence his ability to know all the little details only Roche would know." "Channeling?" Skinner repeated incredulously. "Scully, you're not suggesting..." "No, sir, but it doesn't matter. Whether you subscribe to Mulder's theory or not, you must concede that *Cole* believes it to some degree. He's done everything he can to push Mulder's buttons regarding Roche." "I think I see where you're going with this," Grey said, catching her fire. "We shouldn't be wondering where *Cole* would go. We should figure out where *Roche* would go." "If you proceed on the assumption that Cole is acting as Roche, you need to include the element of revenge," Skinner mused. "After all, Mulder prevented Roche from getting what he wanted, not once but twice. It follows that he'd want his revenge to have meaning for Mulder." "That's it!" Scully pushed herself to her feet walking quickly around the large table to a map of the Boston area pinned to the far wall. "He'd go back to where it all ended, where Mulder killed Roche." She scanned the map quickly, then pointed with a trembling finger. "Right there. The place where Roche took Katelyn Holmes. The place where he forced Mulder to chose between Samantha and an innocent child. Revere." Two long strides and Grey had the door open, tapping his foot impatiently. "What are you waiting for? Let's go." Revere, MA Saturday 5:15 p.m. *"Fox! Help me!"* *An incandescent beam of pure white light envelops his sister's slight form and lifts her into the air. He watches for an instant, both horrified and mesmerized, before lurching into action. He tries to crawl over to the tall chest of drawers where he knows his father keeps a gun, only to realize that one wrist is handcuffed to a tall metal pole that grows up from the middle of the floor like a bizarre sapling. He tugs wildly, noticing now that he's a grown man and not a boy.* *"Samantha!" he screams, pulling harder, heedless of the way the metal bites into the tender flesh of his wrist until it draws blood. "Samantha!"* *"You said you would save her! Why don't you save her?"* *He spins and looks up into the cold, furious eyes of Jason Westin who points one accusing finger at the girl's rapidly disappearing body.* *"Do something! You couldn't save your sister, I should have realized you couldn't save mine!"* *Confused, his eyes dart back to the little girl and he gasps, dumfounded. Long dark tresses have been replaced with short curls, terrified brown eyes with blue.* *"Fox, I want to go home! Help me!"* *A shadowy figure wearing a tall hat and an old fashioned waistcoat, garb of the Mad Hatter, steps out of the light and gathers the child's body into his arms, effortlessly subduing her struggles. It turns to reveal the smugly smiling face of John Lee Roche.* *"I'm taking her away from all this, to a happier place," he announces, retreating into the light.* *"Fox! Fox, wake up! He's coming!" Callie screams.* "Noooo!" "You heard her, wake up!" Something hard connected with Mulder's side, telegraphing a burst of pain from his ribs to his head and forcing the air from his lungs. His eyes flew open and he gasped for breath, groaning and retching helplessly as he fell onto his side. Bright sparks danced before his eyes, obscuring his vision for several minutes and the sudden ringing in his ears blotted out sound. He lay very still, panting weakly from the pain and the after affects of his dream. "...time you woke up and joined the party, Agent Mulder," Cole was saying cheerfully. "We have so much to discuss. And besides, you were worrying little Callie." Mulder carefully hauled himself upright, wincing as now both head and ribs protested loudly. Callie shrank back in her corner, watching with wide scared eyes. He met her gaze with a wink and saw her bob her head in understanding. "You and I obviously have different ideas about what makes a good party," he told Cole, wishing his voice sounded stronger. "No music, no beer..." "Very funny, very funny," Cole replied, waving Mulder's gun in his right hand. "You can make all the jokes you want, but I've been looking forward to this moment for a long time." Cole's congenial voice and mild expression left Mulder totally unprepared for the heavy workboot that connected with his already aching ribs. Mulder screamed. "That's for the number you did on my upholstery with your penknife," Cole explained flatly. "Stop it! Don't hurt Fox!" Callie crossed to Mulder's side in a flash, small hands planted on her hips and eyes snapping angrily behind her tears. Cole laughed -- a cold, humorless sound. "Got a little buddy, huh? She might not be so crazy about you once she figures out you can't help her. *Fox.*" He turned a stern gaze on the child. "Go sit down, squirt." Callie hesitated, looking uncertainly at Mulder. He scraped up a somewhat sickly smile and nodded, so she retreated slowly. Mulder sucked in a deep breath, regretting the action immediately when his ribs screeched in protest. Working hard to rein in his wandering attention, he squinted up at Cole. "What did you mean when you said you'd been waiting for this?" Cole smiled, leaning casually against the side of the bus and tapping his chin with the Sig. "I know all about you, Agent Mulder. After that day you came to search my car I got real interested. Not just in the previous owner, but in the man who tracked him down. So I started doing a little investigating of my own -- dug up every bit of information on you and John Lee Roche I could find. As I read about you, how you caught Roche and all those other killers, one thing became very clear to me." "What's that?" The smile became a shark's grin. "That I could do better. That I could do anything those criminals did, and worse, and never get caught. The more I thought about it, the more I read, and the more I read, the more ideas I got. Props, Boggs, Mostow, Roche -- I studied 'em all. But I kept coming back to Roche, to how he eluded you for so long before you finally caught him." "So you decided to copy Roche's crimes," Mulder jibed, injecting sarcasm into his voice. "That's called a copycat killer, Cole. It's nothing special. We get them all the time." Cole flushed at his dismissal. "So you say. But here *I* am, and there *you* are. Who outsmarted who? Anyway, there's more to this than you think. Haven't you wondered how I've done it, Agent Mulder? How I knew all those things about you -- about Roche -- that I couldn't have known?" Mulder shifted uneasily but said nothing, willing Cole to come closer so that he would be within reach. He took a covert peek at Callie, relieved to see she was paying close attention to the interaction between Cole and himself. "Two years ago my parents and I were in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver," Cole continued, slouching away from the wall and pacing across the width of the bus. "All three of us were dead at the scene. They couldn't revive my folks, but they did manage to bring me back. Only I didn't come back alone." Mulder licked his lips, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest. "What are you talking about?" Cole stared at him, eyes losing focus and then rolling back in his head to expose the whites. His body twitched once, then shifted. The shoulders drew back, the spine straightened, and the chin dipped slightly downward. Cole blinked lazily, then returned his gaze to Mulder's face, just the barest hint of amusement touching the corners of his mouth. "Mulder. Long time no see." Horror washed over Mulder from head to toe. His entire body broke out in gooseflesh and the small hairs on the back of his neck rose. That voice -- Cole's, and yet not. The tone, the inflection was as different as night from day. He'd hunted liver-eating mutants and giant flukemen, carnival freaks and tentacled sea monsters, but nothing had come close to sparking the fear that voice produced. Roche's eyes looked out of Cole's face and he smiled. "What's the matter, Mulder? Aren't you glad to see me?" "No," Mulder said, shaking his head in spite of the dizziness the movement provoked. "No, it's not possible." The smile widened until it became gleeful. Roche's smile. "Why can't you believe this, Mulder? You hunt visitors from outer space, don't you? Why not visitors from beyond the grave?" "How...?" "Don't you remember what you told me? You said a connection formed between us, a nexus, because you profiled me. Well, my buddy Steve here did a little profiling of his own. Guess maybe that's why we were able to hook up when he almost died. Lucky for me, right? I promised I’d show him just what to do, and he jumped at the idea." Mulder swallowed, clenching his trembling fingers into fists. "Why? What do you want from me, Roche, if that really is you? What could you possibly expect to gain from all this? You're dead." Roche's grin faded and his eyes turned hard. "I want what I deserve, Mulder. What you took away from me on that bus. This is my second chance." He deliberately held Mulder's gaze while tilting his head in Callie's direction. "And this time, you won't stop me." "You son of a bitch!" A red haze of fury clouded Mulder's vision and sublimated his pain as he cursed and pulled savagely at his cuffed wrist. Roche just watched, smirk firmly back in place. Mulder's physical injuries finally overcame his anger and he slumped back against the pole, gasping for breath. "You really should take it easy, Mulder," Roche said mildly. "You get a ringside seat for the festivities and it'd be a shame if you passed out. After all, I'm doing it for you." "You want revenge? You want payback for what you think I took from you? Then just put the gun to my head," Mulder hissed. "Leave Callie out of this." Roche shook his head, picking at some dirt under his thumbnail. "Mulder, Mulder. That would take away all the fun. Anyway, I know you. Killing you now would hurt far less than letting you watch. In fact, I might not kill you at all. Just imagine the memories I can leave you with for the next thirty or forty years." Mulder struggled against a wave of nausea and revulsion, desperately seeking a way to lure Roche closer. "You always were a coward, Roche. A big man with little girls, but spineless if you had to deal with anyone your own size. I heard how popular you were in prison." Roche's eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. "You're reaching, Mulder. You're just trying to aggravate me." *Just a little bit more* Mulder thought. "Not according to the guards. "'Course, to hear them tell it, you didn't really mind..." "You mean the guard that looked the other way when you hit me?" Roche asked, the amusement strained now. He shrugged, taking another step and leaning down tauntingly. "Some..." Mulder pounced, putting all of his pent up rage and frustration behind the movement as he rammed his head into Roche's midsection and wrapped his free arm around his waist, tackling him. The impact of his head meeting the solid wall of flesh caused him to see stars, but he managed to keep his body covering Roche as the killer squirmed. "Run!" Mulder screamed and vaguely registered a blurred figure as it darted past. Roche twisted, trying to raise Mulder's gun, which was currently pinned to the floor by Mulder's left arm. Mulder strained to preserve his hold, nearly pulling his right arm from its socket in the process. He shifted his body to the left, two things occurring in rapid succession. Roche's arm slid from under his own and tipped the gun toward Mulder's head just as Mulder became aware that his knee had come to rest between the killer's two legs. Reacting without stopping to think, Mulder lunged, bringing the knee up hard. Roche screamed, his hand jerking upward as his finger tightened reflexively on the trigger, discharging two rounds in quick succession before the gun slipped from his hand. Moaning, he curled into a ball, offering no resistance when Mulder scooped up the weapon and scrabbled back toward the post, nearly frantic to ease the tension on his shoulder and wrist. For several minutes neither man moved, Roche groaning and cupping the flesh between his legs and Mulder teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. Roche was the first to regain mobility, rolling slowly to a sitting position. Mulder raised the gun clutched in his left hand, but it wobbled badly. "Don't move." "You're not going to use that, Mulder," Roche said patronizingly. "You're right handed, aren't you? Anyway, you can barely lift it." "Shut up and give me the key to the cuffs," Mulder growled, blinking at the stinging sweat that ran into his eyes. "Un-uh. I don't think so. That little key is the only security I've got left." Roche rose cautiously to his feet. "Why don't we call it a draw, Mulder? You've spoiled my recreation for the evening, so I'll just be on my way. I'm sure they'll find you soon." "Freeze!" Mulder barked, surprised when the word came out more like a whisper than a roar. "I'm warning you, Roche. Don't make me do this again. Now sit down and toss me the key." Roche stilled, but showed no intention of sitting. "Don't you want to know, Mulder?" Mulder grit his teeth, the gun gaining another pound with every minute Roche stonewalled. "Know what?" "Your sister. Don't you want to know if she's here?" Mulder's finger bore down slightly on the trigger. "Shut up!" "I can tell you. You'll know once and for all if she's still alive. But if you shoot me now, you'll go on wondering," Roche persisted, his voice smooth as honey as he took a small step closer. Mulder blinked in confusion, the gun dropping imperceptibly as he battled against the pain in his upper body and the roaring in his ears. "No. No, I..." This time it was Roche's turn to pounce. Revere, MA Saturday 6:37 p.m. "That's it, right there!" Scully exclaimed. She shot out of the car the moment Skinner pulled to the curb, shifting her feet restlessly until Grey and Skinner reached her side. One at a time they scaled the fence, dropping down to survey the menagerie of public transportation busses that crouched like giant beetles, some still operable and some decrepit and rusted with disuse. "Where do we even begin?" Grey asked. "We'll never..." "Wait! Listen," Scully interrupted, motioning him to be silent. Over the hum of traffic floated a faint whimper, followed by the sound of fists striking wood. The whimper rose to heartbroken sobs. "This way," Skinner said, heading around the corner. At the sight of the small figure huddled by the base of the fence, all three broke into a run. The child, a small girl with curly brown hair and large blue eyes, gasped and cowered back against the boards. By unspoken agreement, Skinner and Grey dropped back to let Scully approach the child. "Callie?" she questioned gently. "Are you Callie?" When the little girl nodded Scully gave her a radiant smile. "It's okay, you're safe now. My name is Dana, and that's Walter and Grey. We're FBI agents, and we've been looking for you, sweetheart." To Scully's amazement, at the word FBI Callie leaped to her feet and began babbling hysterically, seizing hold of her hand and tugging. "Hurry, hurry! You have to help Fox! I promised I'd bring help!" Scully's heart leaped with unexpected hope, but she forced herself to remain calm. "You've seen Fox? Where is he, Callie, is he all right?" "Steve hurt him! I'm afraid he'll do something really mean to him when he sees that I got away. Hurry!" Two loud bangs interrupted Scully's reply, echoing off the fence and the surrounding busses. "Show me," Scully said sharply, no longer resisting Callie's frenetic tugging. Callie unfalteringly led them down three rows of busses and then across four, toward the back of the lot where the older, retired vehicles were parked. When she pointed to bus 176, Scully stopped and crouched down so that she could look into the little girl's eyes. "This is as far as you go, Callie. I want you to go and wait over there behind that bus. Walter, Grey, and I will take care of Fox." When the little girl was safely out of range, Scully turned to Skinner, who had just finished phoning for backup. "I suggest we split up, sir." Skinner nodded. "I agree." "I'll take the back door," Grey volunteered. "You two take the front. He knows Scully, but he won't be expecting me." They separated and moved cautiously into position. Grey groaned inwardly at the sight of a large padlock affixed to a chain that ran through the rear door. He waved Skinner and Scully onward and quickly extracted a small lock pick from his coat. Taking a deep breath to still his shaking hands, he set to work. Skinner eased the metal door open, wincing a little when it emitted a soft creak. He moved up two steps, Scully right behind, crouching to stay hidden behind the panel that normally would have divided the front seat from the driver. He peered around the edge to see Mulder slumped against a metal pole, his right hand cuffed, the left training a gun on Steve Cole. Mulder's body prevented Skinner from seeing if Cole was similarly armed. "Your sister," Skinner heard Cole say to Mulder, his voice smug. "Don't you want to know if she's here?" *What in the hell is he talking about?* Skinner thought, taking in Mulder's ragged reply even as he tried to see Cole's hands. "I can tell you. You'll know once and for all if she's still alive. But if you shoot me now, you'll go on wondering," Cole persisted. Mulder's body shifted and in that instant Skinner saw that A: Mulder was losing his grip on his weapon, and B: Cole was unarmed but about to make a move. "Now, Scully!" he said, lunging to his feet. "Federal Agent! Freeze!" The next sixty seconds passed in slow motion for Skinner. He sensed Scully bring up her own gun. He watched Mulder's left hand seesaw wildly and drop toward his lap. Cole hesitated momentarily, eyes darting up to assess their proximity before narrowing as he commenced his lunge toward Mulder. Skinner's finger tightened on the trigger, but pulled back as a shot rang out. Cole staggered, then dropped to his knees with a surprised look on his face, to reveal Grey standing behind him, gun still leveled at his slumped body. Skinner climbed quickly up the remaining step and tugged Cole's sprawled body to the side. Grey's bullet had removed a portion of the killer's skull, and Skinner didn't need to search for a pulse to determine Cole was dead. Scully, sparing Cole only a perfunctory glance, knelt down to examine Mulder with gentle hands. When Grey didn't move, continuing to stare blankly at Cole's lifeless body, Skinner stood and stepped to the right to block his view. "Grey." Grey dragged his eyes up to meet Skinner's. "Yeah." "Why don't you go take care of Callie and wait for the police to get here. They'll never find us in this maze." Grey licked his lips and nodded. "Sure. Is Fox all right?" "He's hanging in there," Scully called over her shoulder. She looked to Skinner. "Could you get him uncuffed, sir?" Skinner searched Cole's cooling body, squinting in the rapidly failing light. When he located the keys in the man's jacket, he turned and reached for Mulder's wrist. "My God," he muttered, paralyzed for an instant by the sight of the torn, bleeding flesh. "Careful," Scully warned as he gingerly removed the metal bracelet. "I think he's dislocated that shoulder." Skinner clenched his jaw. If Mulder's wrist and shoulder were any indication, the agent had put up one hell of a fight. Mulder had not spoken or acknowledged their presence. His hazel eyes appeared glassy and unfocused and his head lolled drunkenly. Scully tenderly cupped his chin in her hand, noting the dilated pupils. "Mulder, it's Scully. Are you with us?" Mulder responded lethargically. He blinked and his eyes wandered to Scully's face. Awareness seeped in like water through a sluggish drain. "Scully?" he murmured, a small line creasing his brow. He attempted to reach for her, only to utter a strangled moan and lose what little color remained in his face. "Sir!" Scully said sharply, but Skinner was already there, slipping his shoulder behind Mulder to prevent him from listing further to the left. "Easy, Mulder," he said gruffly. "Mulder, where does it hurt?" Scully asked. Seeing his eyes turn vague again she grasped his left earlobe between her thumb and index finger and pinched. "OW!" Mulder yelped, swatting aimlessly with his left hand. But his gaze sharpened. "Whadju do that for?" "Sorry. I need you to stay with me, Mulder. I can see you took a blow to the head. Where else are you hurt?" "Everywhere," Mulder growled. At her look of irritation, he sighed. "Ribs. And my arm feels like it's been torn off at the shoulder." "That's what you get for pulling it out of the socket," Scully replied lightly, using her thumb to stroke his cheek. Mulder's eyes, which had been drooping, flew open wide. "Callie! Where's Roche? Did you get Roche?" Skinner wrapped an arm around Mulder's chest in an effort to quiet his frantic struggling. Mystified, he frowned at Scully. "Roche? What's he talking about?" Scully shook her head. "Mulder. MULDER, STOP!" Her harsh command stilled Mulder's thrashing but his eyes still roamed restlessly. "Callie is *safe*, she's with Grey," Scully continued, speaking slowly and distinctly. "What about Roche?" Mulder insisted. Scully bit her lip. Her initial impression was that none of Mulder's injuries were life threatening, but his apparent dementia worried her. A siren wailed in the distance, moving closer. "Mulder, you aren't making sense. *Cole* is dead. Grey shot him." Mulder slumped, his relief at her words evident. "Then Roche is gone too," he muttered, shivering. Scully caressed his brow and cheek, the skin clammy and cool under her fingertips. "He's in shock," she said, stripping off her coat and tucking it around Mulder's body. Outside, she heard Grey shouting directions and the sound of running feet. Mulder had zoned out again and this time she let him go, stepping aside for the EMTs while quickly giving a rundown of his condition. Once she'd relinquished responsibility for his care, she could only stand trembling with her fist pressed tightly to her lips while the paramedics checked Mulder's vitals and efficiently immobilized his shoulder. Grey climbed into the bus, dodging bodies and equipment to reach Scully and Skinner. "They're taking Callie to the station," he said. "They'll contact her parents and arrange for them to come and pick her up. How's Fox?" "Living up to his reputation as the human equivalent of a Timex watch," Scully replied dryly, but her voice shook. "What was all that about, Scully?" Skinner asked, keeping his voice low so as not to be overheard. "Why was Mulder calling Cole Roche?" "He's disoriented from the blow to his head and in a great deal of pain, sir. He didn't know what he was saying," Scully answered, but her face was troubled. "We're ready to transport, ma'am," spoke up a dark-haired EMT who looked about fifteen to Scully's haggard gaze. "We'll be taking him to Boston General." "I'm coming with you." Skinner suppressed a grin at the steel in her tone and the technician's hasty acceptance. Scully in doctor mode was a force to be reckoned with. "Smart kid," Grey muttered, and Skinner lost his hold on the smirk. "Definitely." The EMTs maneuvered Mulder out the back door of the bus with Scully on their heels. Skinner walked over to greet the officer in charge and began the lengthy process of securing the scene, but found himself unable to banish Mulder's words from his mind. Georgetown Monday 5:07 p.m. "Sir! Come in." Scully stepped aside and ushered Skinner into the living room. Grey, sprawled in a chair and flipping through a newspaper, stood and extended his hand. "Hey, Walt. What brings you to this neck of the woods?" "Just thought I'd stop in to check on the errant patient," Skinner said, sinking into another chair and loosening his tie. "How is he?" "Completely zonked and drooling on the pillow, last time I checked," Scully replied, lips twitching. Skinner's eyebrows soared. "*Mulder*? In the middle of the day?" "He's on some pretty heavy painkillers for the shoulder and ribs," Scully explained. "Keeps him pretty snowed half the time." "It's been remarkably quiet," Grey agreed, grinning. "I think we all could use about a week's worth of sleep," Skinner said wearily. "We've certainly earned it." "I thought I'd come in for a while tomorrow. I should have my report finished later tonight." Scully said. "There'll be an inquiry into the shooting, but it's just a formality," Skinner remarked, noticing Grey flinch slightly at his words. "You *do* realize you had no choice? A few seconds more and Cole would have had your brother's gun, and maybe his life." Grey had been staring out the window, nodding his head at Skinner's reassurances. "I do know that. But the truth is, I'd only killed a man once before. It wasn't any easier this time." "The day it becomes easy is the day you should turn in your badge," Skinner returned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You did a good job, Grey. I've already sent a letter of commendation to your captain." Grey's lips curved. "Thanks, Walt. I appreciate it." "I just hope things stay quiet for now," Scully mused. "Mulder's not going to be released for field work for at least three weeks. Maybe we can actually get caught up on some paperwork for a change. Skinner snorted. "Now *that* would be an X-File." He frowned. "Scully, I've wanted to speak with you about Saturday night. Specifically, what Mulder said about Roche." Scully's manner immediately turned from open and receptive to guarded. "Sir?" "Mulder kept calling Cole, Roche. Did you ask him about that?" Grey muttered something and Scully shot him a look that could have turned sand to glass. "Shut up, Grey." "I take it you have broached the subject," Skinner said dryly. Scully sighed. "Sir, he was suffering from a grade three concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and three cracked ribs. He can't be held responsible for what he thinks he saw." "He thinks Cole was - -what did you call it? channeling? -- John Lee Roche." It was a statement, not a question. "He doesn't just think it, he's convinced of the fact," Grey spoke up, his face neutral. "And you think it's all in his head?" Skinner asked. Grey shrugged. "Frankly, I'm not sure what I think. I don't believe in a person possessing the ability to channel the spirit of a dead man. But Fox's conviction is...disturbing." "I've been a little disturbed myself," Skinner admitted. When Scully cocked an eyebrow he hastened to explain. "Scully, when we were hiding on that bus, just before Grey shot Cole, did you hear what he was saying to Mulder?" "Only a word here and there," Scully confessed. "It was hard to hear behind that partition." "Well I did. Cole was talking to Mulder about his sister." Scully looked flustered. "His sister?" Skinner nodded. "He asked." "He asked if I wanted to know if she was there." Mulder's calm voice startled them, prompting an exchange of uneasy glances. Ignoring their discomfiture, he moved slowly across the room and lowered himself carefully onto the couch. He was clad only in a pair of jeans, a large sling immobilizing his right arm and shoulder. Skinner winced at the deep bruising that colored this left side in shades of black and blue. Scully looked at Mulder accusingly. "You didn't mention this part." Mulder rolled his eyes. "Why waste my breath, Scully? You don't believe me about Roche, and this is just more of the same." "What did he mean 'if she was there?'" Scully asked. "Out there, the great beyond, among the dead," Mulder replied flippantly, but his eyes told a different story. "He said he could tell me once and for all if Sam was dead or still alive." Scully moved her hand to weave her fingers with his. "Did you believe him?" Mulder leaned his head back and closed his eyes. His answer was soft, but firm. "I believe that wherever Sam is, dead or alive, it's not with a man like John Lee Roche." No one spoke for several minutes. Finally, Skinner cleared his throat and reached into his jacket to extract an envelope. "You might not know that I met with the Westins yesterday," he told them. "They asked me to express their deepest appreciation to you three -- especially to you, Mulder. And Callie asked me to give you this." Mulder accepted the envelope, eyeing it for a moment before attempting to open it. Scully watched him fumble one-handed, then reached out and gently pried up the flap and extricated a sheet of paper. Mulder unfolded it, spreading it gently across his lap. Skinner and Grey leaned forward for a better view. It was a crayon drawing of two people standing in a field of flowers, hand in hand. One was tall and thin with dark brown hair and a long black coat, the other short and curly haired with a smiling pink mouth. A bright yellow ball of a sun and three fluffy white clouds filled the blue sky. Across the bottom in scraggly letters was printed "I love you Fox" followed by the name "Callie." "She's quite an artist," Grey observed appreciatively. "She's quite a kid," Mulder corrected, running one finger reverently over the page. "They both are." Skinner stood up. "I've need to get going," he said briskly. "I've got a backlog of paperwork that piled up over the last few days." "Sure you wouldn't like to stay for dinner, sir?" Scully asked, also standing. "You're more than welcome. Mulder's been nagging me for a pizza and I figured I'd give in." Mulder clapped his left hand to his chest. "Moi? Nag? Scully, you wound me!" "I'll take a rain check," Skinner said dryly, lips quirking in amusement. "Thanks anyway, Scully." "Guess it'll be pizza for three, then," Mulder said cheerfully. "Ummm. I meant to say something about that," Grey said, checking his watch. "I won't be joining you guys for dinner tonight. I, uh, have plans." Mulder leaned forward like a shark scenting blood. "Plans? Do tell, big brother." Grey blushed. "I asked Kristen out to dinner tonight. To thank her for all her help on the case," he added hastily. "Kristen? As in Agent Harding?" Scully asked, shooting Mulder a smug grin. "That's the one. She's picking me up in five minutes, so I guess I'll just walk down with Walt," Grey said, bolting for the door and the relative safety of the hallway. "Don't be too late," Mulder called. "You know how Scully and I worry when you're not home before midnight." "Shut up, Fox." Scully saw her boss and Grey out the door, then returned to the couch. Seeing Mulder squirm a little in search of a comfortable position, she leaned into the corner and pulled him back against her, weaving her fingers through his hair where it lay next to her chin. He sighed contentedly, running his hand up and down the soft skin of her leg. "Scully, I've recovered pretty much all of my memory," he said hesitantly. Scully smiled, knowing exactly where he was headed. "That's good, Mulder." Mulder was quiet for a few minutes, still absently stroking her leg. "I'm sorry, Scully. I was a jerk, and I had no right to say the things I did." "Apology accepted," Scully replied softly. She leaned over to look him in the eye. "*Skinner*?" Mulder shrugged, flushing. "He does think the world of you, Scully. And you gotta admit, he's built." Scully shook her head, grinning. "I can't help it, Mulder. I like my men tall, dark, and paranoid." "Yeah?" "Absolutely." Scully leaned over to press her lips to his cheek. The next thing she knew, Mulder had hooked his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her down for a kiss that quickly left her breathless. "The kids have all gone out for the evening, Ma," he murmured, nibbling his way up the column of her neck. "However shall we occupy ourselves?" "Down boy," Scully gasped, but tilted her head back to give him better access. "You're not exactly in the best condition right now." "Listen, babe," Mulder said, his voice low and seductive. "I guarantee all the necessary equipment is in perfect working order." He waggled his eyebrows. Scully laughed. "You're incorrigible, Mulder." "You've got it wrong, Scully. That's encourageable." Scully snickered, then gasped as he proceeded to show her just exactly what he meant. Location Unknown Monday 6:00 p.m. On the television screen an anchorman provided voice-over for footage on the death of a serial killer and the rescue of his intended victim. The man studied the videotaped images, his nicotine- stained fingers working the remote control to reverse, start, and then freeze the film repeatedly. Hooded eyes scrutinized the figure preserved in stasis -- a tall man with dark, wavy hair and a vaguely familiar face. The man blew out a long puff of smoke, shaking his head in wry amusement. *I always underestimated you, Bill. Dead all this time, and you can still surprise me.* The hand not occupied with the remote picked up the phone and punched in a familiar number. "Alex? We need to talk." End